Woman Keeps Guy Best Friend Around to Take Over "Responsibilities" Until She's Married

Mustafa Gatollari - Author
By

May 15 2023, Published 3:48 p.m. ET

Woman Keeps Guy Best Friend Until Her Husband Comes Along
Source: TikTok | @deandrakanu

Big Simpin': it's a phrase that sparks a lot of controversy online. The word "simp" is often used to describe guys who fawn over women and are obsequiously nice in an attempt to try and curry favor with them in the hopes of entering into a romantic relationship with them.

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Sometimes, folks simply use the word to describe a straight male who is simply being nice to a woman just because they want to ridicule them for whatever reason.

But men aren't the only people who receive their fair share of criticism when it comes to the simp-le life, women who are "simp enablers" are often lambasted too.

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And a debate around simping and the women who take advantage of them has become a heated topic of conversation in the comments section of a recently viral TikTok posted by user Deandra Kanu (@deandrakanu), along with the nature of male/female best friend relationships.

Source: TikTok | @deandrakanu
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Deandra posted a clip of her leaning against a countertop in a kitchen where she pantomimes talking with a blender bottle in her hand in an argumentative fashion.

She writes in a text overlay of the clip: "Me explaining to my guy best friend that even though we don't like each other, until my actual husband comes into my life he has to pick up the responsibilities"

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It would appear that Deandra is alluding to a phenomenon known as "placeholder relationships" where a person keeps someone around until a preferred romantic interest comes into the picture.

woman man best friend husband responsibilities
Source: TikTok | @deandrakanu
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The difference in Deandra's case, however, from the aforementioned situation is that this placeholder dynamic is between two people who are friends and are romantically connected.

A number of commenters who viewed her clip seemed to take issue with the fact that she was expecting her male best friend to take on the "responsibilities" of a husband until her Mr. Right came along.

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Several said that this is why they either never allow their male significant other to have female best friends or won't date someone who has one:

"And that’s why you don’t date guys with a girl bsf," one TikToker wrote.

woman man best friend husband responsibilities
Source: TikTok | @deandrakanu
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Another said: "That’s why I don’t do 'girl best friends'" while someone else remarked, "This why my man will NEVER partake in a girl bsf"

But there were other women who said that they also engage in this practice as well: "Mines have a gf now so I took his guy bestie to replace him"

"I know I be on his LAST nerve but…. Bear with me buddy," another TikToker wrote.

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Someone else quipped, "this why the girlfriends be hating us"

However, one said that this type of relationship dynamic could be good training for people on how to properly act in a relationship once they end up with the person they want to be with forever.

woman man best friend husband responsibilities
Source: TikTok | @deandrakanu
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"Hype him up sis. You’re making him greater for his queen. It’s the lords work really," one viewer who saw Deandra's video wrote.

How do you feel about this type of dynamic? Do you believe that the man Deandra is referring to really views the relationship as just a friendship? Or is it possible he's "simping" in the hopes of it turning into something more?

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