There are few places that do somber and solemn better than a church.
The problem is, all that solemnity can be a bit of a downer after a while, which won't really bring in the crowds. And even though churches aren't supposed to be for-profit ventures, when you have low attendance, it looks kinda bad. Plus, there won't be as many people throwing change in that collection plate.
The question is: how do you bring people in? You could start a Christian rock-band, if you're into that sort of thing. Or you could come up with some hilarious church signs, like these holy folks did.
Indiana update: church sign of the day = "if god seems far away, guess who moved"— 30 in 32 (@30in32) June 15, 2017
just saw a church sign "don't like going to church? you won't like heaven" oh— wunder butt (@seeeruuuh) June 16, 2017
Almost enough to make me want to wake up early on Sunday morning. Almost.