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The Funniest And Most Ridiculous Receipt Notes Left Behind By Weirdos

Most of us go to a restaurant or order in to eat and skip the clean up afterwards. We leave an appropriate tip, then go about our business. 

But in our society, there is a subset of people who make every interaction into an art form—like this person who told an epic tale of magic on their order for the delivery guy to chuckle over:

"He guards the tomatoes." from r/funny

I feel like I just read Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter in one go.

But that's not the only kind of funny receipt scattered around by clever weirdoes. There are all types.

The drunk ones:

There's Mr. Butthole Teeth, who at least tips well:

I haven't signed my real name on a receipt since 2011.

There are the flirts:

This was left on a receipt for a male waiter at TGI Friday's

This extremely discount orgasm from a generous bartender:

She said "The register actually has a button for it! I have to print you a receipt!"

Useful warnings:

My wife picked up some pizzas from a local Hungry Howies. This was on the receipt.

Strange ingredients:

Friend got her receipt from happy hour...

Someone just being nice??

Scoop Whoop

The excuse makers:


Someone sharing some personal info.


A budding poet:

Scoop Whoop

Pure artistry:

The FW

Don't type receipts while horny:


Though some receipts are just funny because they exist, and don't need a human to liven them up at all.

Tonight’s CVS receipt for a $4 purchase from r/funny