1. Vodka: Text-People-You-Shouldn’t-Be-Texting Drunk
The deep feelings you have for people, good or bad, are all coming out with vodka. You are a piñata, vodka is Barry Bonds with an aluminum bat, and all of your insides will be spewing everywhere at some point. You’ll leave voicemails, send texts, make calls, say things to people’s faces, post stuff to social media, and somehow, in the moment, it’ll feel like such a good idea.