This Twitter Trend of People Badly Explaining Their Jobs Will Leave You Guessing

I cut people open and take out bits that they don't need. Sometimes I'm wrong #badlyexplainyourjob

— Frank Haviland (@Frankhaviland) March 31, 2017

We let people borrow dead trees with ink spills on them, as long as they promise to bring them back #badlyexplainyourjob

— Derbyshire Libraries (@DerbyshireLibs) March 31, 2017

I press lots of buttons until somebody says that they like the way i pressed my buttons #badlyexplainyourjob pic.twitter.com/RUyxzenDBk

— felbz (@MfelbzOnTheBeat) March 31, 2017

Individuals of the same species behave differently from one another and I'm like, why#badlyexplainyourjob

— Tom Houslay (@tomhouslay) March 31, 2017

I stare at 4 letters on a screen, A, T, G, and C, over and over again... #badlyexplainyourjob

— Sujai Kumar (@sujaik) March 31, 2017

#badlyexplainyourjob I sit at a desk for long periods & when I finally look up, everyone's gone then I remember I have a family #phdlife

— Liz Charalambous (@lizcharalambou) March 31, 2017

I count birds. But endangered birds, so I don't have to count very high.

Then I map out where they live & why. #badlyexplainyourjob pic.twitter.com/M1ilh9VIE2

— Janet Ng (@janetngbio) March 31, 2017

I talk to my imaginary friends and then put them through unfathomable amounts of torture. #badlyexplainyourjob

— Nicole Wilson (@NWilson31) March 31, 2017

#badlyexplainyourjob I constantly refresh my emails until my anxiety levels skyrocket, before editors tell me they dont have the budget

— Hussein Kesvani (@HKesvani) March 31, 2017

People pay to watch me strum my G string and they scream in excitement #badlyexplainyourjob

— Dan Kerridge (@NextStopDan) March 31, 2017

Trying to help people unfuck themselves while having no idea how to unfuck myself. If all else fails, drugs all around! #badlyexplainyourjob

— Dr. Cosmic Charlie (@DrCosmicCharlie) March 31, 2017

I've probably seen more vaginas then most men #badlyexplainyourjob

— That Girl (@whoulooknat) March 31, 2017

I make people smile and then I shoot them. Occasionally I flash at them as well - #badlyexplainyourjob

— Gill Prince (@GillPrincePhoto) March 31, 2017

I welcome strangers into my private room for 15 minutes at a time at certain hourly rates; often​ I touch them a lot. #badlyexplainyourjob

— Neko Richiko (@teengkoh) March 31, 2017

I've married many men, and I know where all the bodies are buried #badlyexplainyourjob

— Nancy Goodrich (@revgoodrich) March 31, 2017

I answer the phone and then tell people I’m not qualified and can’t help them #badlyexplainyourjob

— anth❄👑 (@anthblogs) March 31, 2017

#BadlyExplainYourJob I sell things that smell funny and force people to put them onto their skin and in their hair.

— SimplyIndia. 🌐 (@IndiaDino) March 31, 2017

#badlyexplainyourjob I pretend to be nice to people I dislike in order for them to give money to a company that I don't care about

— Sam Atkin (@saelya5) March 31, 2017

I ask people "have you tried switching it off and on again??" #badlyexplainyourjob

— aRaY (@oNLy1aRaY) March 31, 2017

#badlyexplainyourjob I work with people who constantly pretend to be other people..& actively encourage them in this 😂 #actorslife

— John Byrne (@dearjohnbyrne) March 31, 2017

I talk to myself in front of large numbers of young people busy on their smartphones.#badlyexplainyourjob

— Professor Hey-There (@whimsicalnick) March 31, 2017

I take stones from an island and drive them to the other end of the country so I can smash them. #Badlyexplainyourjob

— Bob Gooday (@BobGooday) March 31, 2017

#badlyexplainyourjob I help people earning six digit salaries figure out which field on a form they're meant to write their DOB in.

— Ace Biromancer; (@tainkirrahe) March 31, 2017

I confirm or deny what Dr Google has already told you. #badlyexplainyourjob #justaGP

— Wendy Sexton (@thisGPlife) March 31, 2017

I make other people sound like they write English good. #badlyexplainyourjob

— Stephanie Cox (@cox_stephanie) March 31, 2017

#badlyexplainyourjob I take a nice clean piece of paper and get it all dirty. Then I show it to people.

— Thomas Brown (@GothicalTomB) March 31, 2017

#badlyexplainyourjob I stick giant needles in pregnant people until the crying stops.

— Deric Diep (@DericDiep) March 31, 2017

I ask intrusive questions when you're feeling at your worst. #badlyexplainyourjob

— Stroppy Ambo Woman (@Stroppyambo) March 30, 2017

I use funny-smelling gas to put and keep people asleep. #badlyexplainyourjob

— Sevorella (@A_NurSedative) March 30, 2017

#badlyexplainyourjob

I sell things made by poor people to rich people

— Bitch Noir (@spidersformommy) March 31, 2017

I run into burning places looking for ppl to drag out. Sometimes I have to get cats out of trees. I hate cats. #badlyexplainyourjob

— Malcom Martin Garvey (@PROBLACK6121) March 31, 2017

I use a torch to look at the numbers on people's houses' front doors in the dark #badlyexplainyourjob

— Jason Cole (@JasonDamianCole) March 31, 2017

I sell people devices that they'll pay more attention too instead I of their kids or family #badlyexplainyourjob

— Nathan Black (@FullMetalTitan_) March 31, 2017

I spend 10 hours a day staring into a box of light until my head hurts. Then I go home and stare into another. #badlyexplainyourjob

— Killer Nashville (@KillerNashville) March 31, 2017