This Twitter Trend of People Badly Explaining Their Jobs Will Leave You Guessing
By Zachary BrennerUpdated
I've had a lot of different jobs over the years. I've made children throw balls at each other. I've tied dogs to ropes and made them pee in more desirable spots. Hell, I've even had to put wood on top of metal so I could dump it on the proper dirt.
Those jobs may seem really unrelated, but they all have one thing in common. Someone gave me currency to perform them. Believe it or not, I would never have performed theses tasks if no one handed me paper that I could then turn into other things. In fact, I would as go as far as to say that if no one is giving you currency to performing tasks, then I think you should find a new task.
Maybe you'd be interested in one of these tasks?
Seems legit.
I cut people open and take out bits that they don't need. Sometimes I'm wrong #badlyexplainyourjob
— Frank Haviland (@Frankhaviland) March 31, 2017
I'll take this dead tree, thanks!
We let people borrow dead trees with ink spills on them, as long as they promise to bring them back #badlyexplainyourjob
— Derbyshire Libraries (@DerbyshireLibs) March 31, 2017
Sounds like it is a lot of guesswork, huh?
I press lots of buttons until somebody says that they like the way i pressed my buttons #badlyexplainyourjob pic.twitter.com/RUyxzenDBk
— felbz (@MfelbzOnTheBeat) March 31, 2017
Good question...
Individuals of the same species behave differently from one another and I'm like, why#badlyexplainyourjob
— Tom Houslay (@tomhouslay) March 31, 2017
Do I have enough G's?
I stare at 4 letters on a screen, A, T, G, and C, over and over again... #badlyexplainyourjob
— Sujai Kumar (@sujaik) March 31, 2017
Does your family also have a desk?
#badlyexplainyourjob I sit at a desk for long periods & when I finally look up, everyone's gone then I remember I have a family #phdlife
— Liz Charalambous (@lizcharalambou) March 31, 2017
Why don't you count all the birds?
I count birds. But endangered birds, so I don't have to count very high.
— Janet Ng (@janetngbio) March 31, 2017
Then I map out where they live & why. #badlyexplainyourjob pic.twitter.com/M1ilh9VIE2
Seems cruel.
I talk to my imaginary friends and then put them through unfathomable amounts of torture. #badlyexplainyourjob
— Nicole Wilson (@NWilson31) March 31, 2017
This sounds miserable.
#badlyexplainyourjob I constantly refresh my emails until my anxiety levels skyrocket, before editors tell me they dont have the budget
— Hussein Kesvani (@HKesvani) March 31, 2017
No one ever screams for the other strings.
People pay to watch me strum my G string and they scream in excitement #badlyexplainyourjob
— Dan Kerridge (@NextStopDan) March 31, 2017
They really like it when you use these terms.
Trying to help people unfuck themselves while having no idea how to unfuck myself. If all else fails, drugs all around! #badlyexplainyourjob
— Dr. Cosmic Charlie (@DrCosmicCharlie) March 31, 2017
Nice!
I've probably seen more vaginas then most men #badlyexplainyourjob
— That Girl (@whoulooknat) March 31, 2017
Do you offer them cheese as well?
I make people smile and then I shoot them. Occasionally I flash at them as well - #badlyexplainyourjob
— Gill Prince (@GillPrincePhoto) March 31, 2017
There is nothing sexual about this!
I welcome strangers into my private room for 15 minutes at a time at certain hourly rates; often I touch them a lot. #badlyexplainyourjob
— Neko Richiko (@teengkoh) March 31, 2017
Huh?
I've married many men, and I know where all the bodies are buried #badlyexplainyourjob
— Nancy Goodrich (@revgoodrich) March 31, 2017
Can I speak to someone else?
I answer the phone and then tell people I’m not qualified and can’t help them #badlyexplainyourjob
— anth❄👑 (@anthblogs) March 31, 2017
I'll take one of your stinkiest, please.
#BadlyExplainYourJob I sell things that smell funny and force people to put them onto their skin and in their hair.
— SimplyIndia. 🌐 (@IndiaDino) March 31, 2017
Well, since you seemed to be friendly, here ya go!
#badlyexplainyourjob I pretend to be nice to people I dislike in order for them to give money to a company that I don't care about
— Sam Atkin (@saelya5) March 31, 2017
No!
I ask people "have you tried switching it off and on again??" #badlyexplainyourjob
— aRaY (@oNLy1aRaY) March 31, 2017
But who are you, really?
#badlyexplainyourjob I work with people who constantly pretend to be other people..& actively encourage them in this 😂 #actorslife
— John Byrne (@dearjohnbyrne) March 31, 2017
They are enthralled, I'm sure.
I talk to myself in front of large numbers of young people busy on their smartphones.#badlyexplainyourjob
— Professor Hey-There (@whimsicalnick) March 31, 2017
Take that, rocks!
I take stones from an island and drive them to the other end of the country so I can smash them. #Badlyexplainyourjob
— Bob Gooday (@BobGooday) March 31, 2017
Why is everything so complicated?
#badlyexplainyourjob I help people earning six digit salaries figure out which field on a form they're meant to write their DOB in.
— Ace Biromancer; (@tainkirrahe) March 31, 2017
Doesn't really sound like I even need you.
I confirm or deny what Dr Google has already told you. #badlyexplainyourjob #justaGP
— Wendy Sexton (@thisGPlife) March 31, 2017
I don't think I'd hire you.
I make other people sound like they write English good. #badlyexplainyourjob
— Stephanie Cox (@cox_stephanie) March 31, 2017
This is some good dirt.
#badlyexplainyourjob I take a nice clean piece of paper and get it all dirty. Then I show it to people.
— Thomas Brown (@GothicalTomB) March 31, 2017
How this horror movie villain get here?
#badlyexplainyourjob I stick giant needles in pregnant people until the crying stops.
— Deric Diep (@DericDiep) March 31, 2017
Tell me more...
I ask intrusive questions when you're feeling at your worst. #badlyexplainyourjob
— Stroppy Ambo Woman (@Stroppyambo) March 30, 2017
Count backwards...
I use funny-smelling gas to put and keep people asleep. #badlyexplainyourjob
— Sevorella (@A_NurSedative) March 30, 2017
Capitalism at work!
#badlyexplainyourjob
— Bitch Noir (@spidersformommy) March 31, 2017
I sell things made by poor people to rich people
Save yourself, ya dumb cat!
I run into burning places looking for ppl to drag out. Sometimes I have to get cats out of trees. I hate cats. #badlyexplainyourjob
— Malcom Martin Garvey (@PROBLACK6121) March 31, 2017
Do I have good numbers?
I use a torch to look at the numbers on people's houses' front doors in the dark #badlyexplainyourjob
— Jason Cole (@JasonDamianCole) March 31, 2017
Gimme, gimme!
I sell people devices that they'll pay more attention too instead I of their kids or family #badlyexplainyourjob
— Nathan Black (@FullMetalTitan_) March 31, 2017
This could be anything.
I spend 10 hours a day staring into a box of light until my head hurts. Then I go home and stare into another. #badlyexplainyourjob
— Killer Nashville (@KillerNashville) March 31, 2017
How would you badly explain your job?