When I was 13-years-old, I fell off a cliff. Everyone looking on thought I died. This may come as a shock, but I didn't. I didn't get hurt, either. I was completely fine. Some people may view that as a miracle. I choose to view that as proof that I am indestructible.
It's pretty cool knowing that nothing can ever, ever hurt me. Sure, it can get lonely sometimes, but I still think the pros outweigh the cons. See Unbreakable to get a sense of what I am talking about.
For the rest of you out there with your bodies made of paper, I hope you never have injuries as bad, or as stupid, as these.
What a buffoon.
Maybe you should have amputated that arm?
Horses are vicious.
The Civil War continues to hurt people.
But at least you had sex?
That's, like, the opposite of what they are supposed to do.
I think you should have let the moth land on you.
Do guys not know how coaches work?
That is some hat.
You can talk to us if you need to.
Better yet, don't get hurt in the first place.
Always wear shoes, kids.
It is the most dangerous game.
You need a lighter phone.
I think we know how this ends.
This is why you should never wear pants.
To be fair, this seems like a terrible place for a nap.
I don't know what else I expected.
Stick to regular football. It is safer.
Out of the frying pan?
But at least your pants are okay, right?
He should have been a javelin thrower.
Were you climbing in the nude?
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