28 Hilarious Excuses To Get You Out Of An Awkward Date
By Zachary BrennerOct. 31 2018, Updated 11:23 a.m. ET
A few months ago, I went on a first date. It didn't go well. It wasn't really anyone's fault. We just weren't clicking. About an hour into the date I went to the bathroom and spent a normal amount of time in there. By the time I came back to our table she told me that she had already paid for her drinks and she had to go.
I didn't really ask any follow up questions because what good could come from that? Thankfully, the good people of Twitter have just informed me of all the possible reasons she could have given and you know what? I'm glad I didn't ask.
1. Wait, what?
#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate I'm late for my wedding.
— Kerry Tedder (@KeshaTedder) July 21, 2017
2. Gosh, I love your honesty.
I have to umm...yeah I got nothing...I just don't like you #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— AlohaTags (@AlohaTags) July 21, 2017
3. You'd understand if you saw her.
while you were in the restroom, i looked at Tinder & someone i swiped right on before you just hit me up, sooo.....#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— Eric Schmeric (@HepatitisAtoZ) July 21, 2017
4. You don't want that, do you?
If I'm not home by midnight my man bun turns into a pumpkin #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— craig onetweetwonder (@craigflynn1) July 21, 2017
5. Must be hard to be Bruce Wayne.
The Commissioner is calling.#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate pic.twitter.com/cT1KTRpGdm
— Bison Herd (@d4usma1978) July 21, 2017
6. He gets so made when I'm late.
I need to go check in with my probation officer #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— MikealaSunshine (@Alohababe2011) July 21, 2017
7. You'll meet them eventually.
#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate I have to go feed my prisoners.
— Luke, Cool ✋🏼 (@LukeWheeler01) July 21, 2017
8. Can't that wait?
I need to wash my hair #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— Billie Jean (@Billie_Jean00) July 21, 2017
9. Unless you are into that?
Got diagnosed with Herpes this morning #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— Jimish (@jimishbathia) July 21, 2017
10. We're having a human sacrifice tonight!
I have to make curfew at the convent. #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— Kristie Smeltzer (@KristieSmeltzer) July 21, 2017
11. No, you won't.
I'm just gonna go to the restroom to kill myself, I'll be right back #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— curlsdontlie (@rebeliousclassy) July 21, 2017
12. It's so sticky.
#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate "i gotta use the restroom I busted a nut in my pants and I gotta clean up"
— Yates😈 (@19yates_) July 21, 2017
13. As good of reason as any.
I hate you #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— curlsdontlie (@rebeliousclassy) July 21, 2017
14. We've all done it.
#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate I got another date just to keep my options open #straightface
— Hazereen Mohammad (@ReenMatoMato) July 21, 2017
15. But you should have seen the other guy.
I just remembered I'm banned from this restaurant due to.....previous events #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— caro (@lilacleaves) July 21, 2017
16. It's important to have priorities.
I have to get home so I can get ready for the next hashtag game.#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— ❤RELAX&ENJOYLIFE!❤🍨 (@FaithPeaceLove2) July 21, 2017
17. Happens to the best of us.
That fart wasn't what I thought it was #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— Felecia Thomas (@purplereign83) July 21, 2017
18. I wouldn't want to be part of any club that would have me as a member.
You picked me to date, something is definitely wrong with you. #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— Mary Petit (@mary8888mary) July 21, 2017
19. Can't ignore that mystery.
My dog just called. Someone's at the door. I need to go see who it is. #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— Elle Kay Bee (@ElleKayBeeGood) July 21, 2017
20. She doesn't want to drown when she gets home.
Actual #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate I used: It suddenly started raining: "Oh my gosh, I left my windows down, I have to go, thanks for everything!"
— Kati GMac (@KatiGM) July 21, 2017
21. Everything is fine. I just don't like you.
Me:(checks phone) I have to go. My mom is at the hospital.
— Cranky Cookie (@CrankyCookieJHB) July 21, 2017
Him: OMG! Why is she there? 😲
Me: She works there. *leaves*#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
22. It's important to stay rested.
I need to sleep #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— The Big Mango (@TheBigMango) July 21, 2017
23. Time is running out.
#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate don't want that fresh corpse to spoil.
— Shooter (@sidarthashooter) July 21, 2017
24. I have to keep up.
#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate Sorry dude, but I just realized Keeping up With The Kardashians is on tonight, and it is not a repeat! Seeya...
— Delsina (@delsina363) July 21, 2017
25. Oh, my God! Go!
#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate Left toaster plugged in
— Jahmegan (@Limini___) July 21, 2017
26. Just boring work stuff.
The implant in my head is telling me I need to meet the mothership #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— christina cjv (@CV_81) July 21, 2017
27. You know the rule.
The streetlights came on, I gotta go home...#ExcusesToLeaveMyDate
— James Connors (@SinCalChewy) July 21, 2017
28. I don't think you understand what's happening here.
I don't like them, so I left them there. #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate pic.twitter.com/Qc3qolM2Es
— Robyn Your 💜 (@robyndwoskin) July 21, 2017
