13 Fortune Cookies That Gave People Hilariously Bad Advice

11 months ago

Whenever I crack open some fortune cookies with friends after an especially MSG-filled meal, I love comparing our tiny strips of paper to see who got the best one. Mine usually tell me that love is lurking around every corner, which is a scary image for romance.

But oftentimes they're filled with some pseudo-intelligent-mystical sayings that really don't pertain to your life, or some generic "good advice" that really can't be interpreted in any harmful way.

And then every now and again, you get fortune cookies that give absolutely horrible advice.

my fortune cookie just told me to drop out of college pic.twitter.com/0LAjKUMV66
— pa™uth (@pat_muth) July 15, 2017

Some people's cookies packed straight up insulting messages.

I'm pretty sure my fortune cookie just insulted me. 🤔 pic.twitter.com/nU5JHhORGQ
— WifePlease (@WifePleaze) July 19, 2017

OK, this one isn't so bad (unless you're allergic to them).

THIS WOULD INCREASE MY STRESS LEVEL. Fortune cookie's been stalking my twitter. pic.twitter.com/1ILlaemeRq
— Ian@King's Row (@kriegtastic) July 15, 2017

Others were just a slap in the face.

My kid got the worst fortune cookie. pic.twitter.com/4Fq7kWEcMw
— Terry Moore (@TerryMooreII) July 18, 2017

This fortune cookie just straight up stole a quote without proper attribution.

My fortune cookie is plagiarizing Ben Franklin. pic.twitter.com/UQNDI6GkgJ
— Brad Sims 🤔 (@issafly) July 14, 2017

Probably sounded better in the writer's head.

Had pho for lunch and this was my coworkers fortune cookie. Talk about insult cookie 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/02JSwsKGh2
— E. (@_itselliev) August 11, 2016

A horrible credo to live by.

This is terrible advice, shame on you fortune cookie. pic.twitter.com/attyUSl4eR
— James Hardi (@james_hardi) June 24, 2017

Are you serious?!

My fortune cookie today. Seriously?! #fortunecookie pic.twitter.com/v19Pf1L2w0
— Eddie Coleman (@Eddie_Golfs) July 19, 2017

This is one basically telling you to go away.

No. I need specifics, fortune cookie! pic.twitter.com/3Lzcn7Lj0v
— Cal Lundmark (@calundmark) July 19, 2017

Wow, sarcastic are we?

What a terrible fortune cookie: "you are not illiterate." No shit!!! Ridiculous! #badfortune #fortunecookie pic.twitter.com/Q1bRQedbZY
— Samsohn (@Samsohn) June 16, 2017

My fortune cookie...
Is trying to insult me I think. pic.twitter.com/35VEkXHJNq
— Josh Gaming (@JoshGamnYoutube) July 7, 2017

I mean they're straight up trolling people at this point.

@PandaExpress my fortune cookie I received yesterday was empty. What are you trying to tell me? 💖😓 pic.twitter.com/JdG7pp6WAa
— Chessy Weiner (@chessy_weiner) July 20, 2017

Bad, bad advice.

my fortune cookie told me to buy something frivolous so I bought 40 more fortune cookies pic.twitter.com/HU2xtYbeqz
— Madeline (@mad_ranae25) July 19, 2017