Humans have an obsession with the calendar year. We give ourselves a certain amount of time to get something done and set up deadlines for ourselves. "I want to lose 20 pounds in 6 weeks, but I'll start fresh on Monday and countdown from there." Sound familiar? Because it sure as heck does to me.
I give myself the same clean eating pep talk about a million times and never follow through because in a moment of weakness, I will always reach for the free candy lying around a friend's house or succumb to the delicious banana nut bread my MIL just baked.
The truth is, though, that there's nothing really stopping you from starting to build the life you want right now. I'm not trying to get all self-help-y right now, but it's true. Why do you need to start on a certain day to improve yourself? Why do we have "New Year's Resolutions"? Most of the time we're setting ourselves up for inevitable failure anyway. Which is probably why these "New Year, New Me" memes hit so close to home.
Wow I really stole a crock pot of buffalo chicken dip from my neighbors apartment at 4am. New year new me— Marcus (@MRobinson17) January 1, 2018
Let's be perfectly honest, none of us are "renewed" each and every year.
New year new me!— Emily Bett Rickards (@EmilyBett) January 1, 2018
Update: new me still gets hangovers.
We've got the same imperfections.
“new year, new me” i say as i oversleep and miss my only lesson on the first day back— lil pip (@howardmoon) January 2, 2018
The same laziness.
new year new me she mutters as she eats frosting out the container with her bare hands while rewatching the same netflix series for the third time— Abigail Gillin (@AbigailGillin) January 1, 2018
The same poor habits.
“New year new me” I say, as I slide out of bed 30 minutes past my alarm— Lindsey (@wreckoslovakia) January 2, 2018
The same things plague us.
New Year, New Me! (Reaches for a chicken nugget under her car seat and eats it)— Katie O'Brien (@katiecobrien) January 1, 2018
We can't escape who we are.
Wish I could say “new year, new me” but I just ate an entire bag of cool ranch Doritos hungover on the couch. So nothing new here.— Emily Chute (@emchute) January 1, 2018
But a curious thing happens once you finally confront that uncomfortable fact of life.
I found a piece of chicken in my wallet this morning. New year new me.— Tiera Czyscon (@TieraC35) January 1, 2018
All of your terrible flaws are laid out on the table.
So you have no choice but to react to them.
New year, new me. Just kidding. Something this awesome doesn't need to change.— Jandalize (@Jandalize) January 2, 2018
Because there's no greater jet fuel to propel you forward to an actual change.
Than the truth of who you really are.
So if you really want to transition out of who you currently are....
Realize that there's no way you can be a "new you" this year. You can only try and become the best version of yourself. So take all of those bad habits and transition them into something worth it.
Happy New Year.
When I moved across the country a couple of months ago, I was trying to find a short-term place to stay while I looked around for an apartment to make my home. I've gone through my share of shady sublets, and was so worried I wouldn't land a spot that I started looking for one to book months in advance. On my first day of browsing, I came across a gorgeous and affordable one-bedroom in a really convenient location, but was super skeptical of the post because of how traumatized I am from my previous experiences.
I've dealt with creeps who ask for a cash deposit then claim they're in the hospital on the exact same day they're supposed to meet me for the keys. I've had people cancel my reservation once I've already landed in their city... Needless to say, I'm a seasoned subletter. When I found this lovely one-bedroom on Craigslist, I was sure the listing was too good to be true. So I took a proactively defensive stance when I reached out via email. I asked for boring specifications on the apartment and went over payment details with exhaustive thoroughness. I even asked if a friend could stop by to make sure there were no secret squatter tenants, or anything sketchy like that. Then, I got an email back.
TWIST: I recognized the address from the gushing fan mail I had sent it years ago. The apartment belonged to my favorite living writer and here I was, casually emailing with her directly. Flash forward a few months and we're friendly and occasionally email each other or meet for coffee to catch up. And that's how my nightmare sublet search turned into a friendship with one of the best and most famous writers of our time.
I live for real-life plot twists like this. They keep us on our toes while we cruise through this journey of life. Which is why when u/whytho37 asked Reddit to share their most insane plot twists, the results were incredible.
Scroll down for twists so good, you wouldn't believe they actually happened if you saw them in a film.
We’ve all been there. You swipe right on Tinder, decide on a place to meet, and realize about five minutes in that leaving your house in the first place was a huge error. Maybe you feel like you’ve been catfished because they look nothing like their photos (surprise!), or perhaps you quickly realize they weren’t being sarcastic in their profile when they said their favorite band was The Beatles.
Whatever the case may be, there’s no flying spark to indicate this is the person of your dreams. And maybe you’re the mature kind of individual who can finish their drink, bring up the fact that you don’t see a future together, split the bill, and head your own separate ways. Bravo!
But what if you’re not? u/PM_Me_YourTinyBoobs kindly addressed this very question on Reddit when he asked what a person could say to instantly derail a date. The answers ranged from painfully incestuous to downright hilarious.
Next time you just need to shut it down really quickly and abruptly, these are some perfect lines you can use.
When I had my first drink, I didn't have much of a frame of reference, but I knew that a drink order says a lot about a person. So I chose wisely and just imitated whoever I thought was cool when I was growing up. And there's no one cooler than Clint Eastwood in any Western, ever.
So I ordered myself a whiskey. Neat. I didn't enjoy it. I didn't like the flavor. But I stuck with that drink every time I went out with my friends. I tried different types of whiskey and settled on Jameson. Why? Image. It was all image.
Although I don't really drink that much anymore, when I do, I let my best friend either make my drink or at least decide what I should be sippin' on (he's an amazing bartender), because I clearly have no idea what I'm doing. And he's probably doing me a solid by making me look like I'm somewhat cultured in front of other bartenders. Because, as I've learned in this AskReddit post, there are stereotypes associated with particular drinks and they can get pretty judgmental.