Many a stand up comic's routine has involved the Department of Motor Vehicles and their perceived incompetence.
And although in my home state of New Jersey, certain DMVs have gotten much, much better at streamlining the administration of their bureaucratic process of arbitrary motoring rules, I can still appreciate on a personal level the dread people face when they know they need to visit a DMV.
But going there is a necessary part of life if you own a car or need a driver's license and, in some states, just need a state issued ID. So instead of complaining about something in a depressing way that you have to do anyway, why not have fun with it? So when I go to the DMV, I buy donuts for the people working there.
I have to say though, I love Twitter user @JonoZalay's method of having fun with the reviled DMV; he has a longstanding history of messing with them.
By taking some incredible license photos.
Recently moved back to California and had to get a new drivers license. This is my story (thread)...— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Zalay's father apparently began the tradition decades ago, by snapping photos of himself as a weird character. Something him and his brother are bearing the torch for.
Zalay shared some of his bizarre and amazing license photos. Taking full advantage of that sweet head of hair, and the ability to grow thick bears, he went all in, creating different personas for each picture.
He documented his latest driver's license update photograph by hitting up a salon and getting completely punked out.
His transformation was incredible.
First, there was this aptly-named look.
Each of his updates were hilarious.
I mean, the guy also made a Point Break reference, so I don't even need to see how the rest of this haircut comes out: I'm in.
OK, this dude is hilarious.
You can really see how it's coming together now and the insane look he's going for.
Until we were blessed with this final picture of absolute punk perfection.
I mean, just behold the glory, what a worthy addition to his already impressive collection of characters.
The DMV, noting his appearance, insisted he take a new photograph. They fell right into his trap.
He wasn't allowed to do the whole thing, however. Lip snarls weren't allowed.
Unfortunately when taking the official photo the picture person doesn't let me snarl my lip. But I'm snarling them with my eyes.— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Then, a slight obstacle came his way.
Also- CURVEBALL! I have to take a written driving test! Did u know you're not allowed to park in front of your own driveway? But I said u could because FUCK THE GOVERNMENT and I barely passed.— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
This is a man who suffered for his art.
Anyway. ID gets mailed in 2 weeks but for the next couple months my hair is gonna be a little extra so be cool about it.— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
He did point out that his funny business is sadly, race exclusive.
Also I acknowledge this is only something a white guy can do. I think that is tragic and want every person regardless of race, religion, or gender to have this frivolous of a relationship with people who check their IDs.— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
And since posting it, he's decided to finally get started on his comedy career.
He spent too much time in the jungle and now he's the 'Nell' of the internet.— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
People loved his thread and started sharing awkward license photos of their own.
It's definitely one way to make trips to the DMV more fun, right?
There are plenty of ways to troll a sleeping friend while on a road trip. My personal favorite is parking the car in front of a light pole or a wall, flashing your lights, and having everyone in the car at the same time scream their heads off as if you're all about to die.
That's one way to wake them up.
But Eria found a different approach to trolling her boyfriend, Scott, that had a much longer effect: she enlisted the help of the I'm Telling God Facebook group in roasting him mercilessly for his soporific ways. As a result, the 'Sleepy Scott' meme was born.
If you were like pretty much everyone in the world, you were probably let down by the fact that Croatia didn't have their storybook ending in taking home first place in the 2018 World Cup. Sure, France had an amazing team and all that, and the contest's youngest MVP player, Mbappé, even donated all of his winnings from the tournament to charity—so I guess it's hard to be too upset with the competition's end result.
And even though everyone played their hearts out (except Egypt, I mean, they went again Saudi Arabia and the results were just embarrassing), there was a clear winner this World Cup and it actually wasn't even any of the teams. S
ure there's a first, second, and third place result, but all of those accomplishments pale in comparison to the wonderful memes that sprung up as a result of this glorious tournament.
More than a few were thanks to Brazil's Neymar.
I grew up in a marginally superstitious family who brought some beliefs and hocus-pocus superstitions from the old country. I couldn't make too much noise late at night for fear of attracting a "jinn." I couldn't point at cemeteries or stare into a mirror for too long or my face would become deformed, and heaven help me if I was ever mean to or disobeyed my parents or grandparents, because then I'd be looking at a cursed life that would ruin me until the day that I died.
But the idea of "back luck" or stepping on cracks, walking under ladders, or stealing a black cat's macchiato isn't something that my family really bought into. Sure, we believed in supernatural stuff and the idea that karma gets back around to mess with you or your kids, but "bad luck"?
No honey, it isn't luck that's ruining your life, it's an unseen species of metaphysical monsters that exist in a different plane we know little about—but they are mentioned in the Quran, so be careful!
There are phenomena so unfortunate that simply looking at images of them will cause the same bad luck to befall you. So on this Friday the 13th, gaze upon these pictures with extreme caution.