I'm not expert when it comes to fashion. In fact, I'm pretty clueless. I just make sure to throw out my clothes when they get too ratty, press my dress shirts whenever I have a special occasion, and not wear anything too baggy or too tight.
But if you wanted to get my advice on how to look trendy, or make an impression, or stand out from a crowd of "same-y" looking other folks, I'm not really sure I could help you with that.
But even my plain-clothes-wearing-self can tell you that these fashion atrocities should be avoided at all costs - they're that egregious.