There are some laws that are clearly set up just to get people in trouble and make money off of them. Parking tickets, confusing traffic violation signs in major cities with hefty towing fees come to mind.
Then, there are some instances where I wish laws were more stringent to protect the rights of citizens, like the insane rise of property taxes in my home state, and the state's ability to basically steal your paid-off home if you don't pay these taxes is something I think needs to be re-evaluated. It's not like the government's sending somebody to your home to mow your lawn for you or service your septic tank - why do I need to pay a premium, every single year, for the privilege of holding on to something I already own? It's not like I have to pay taxes on a Macbook or car I own for the rest of my life, so why do I have to do the same thing for land? It makes zero sense.
But there are some laws that I think are perfectly designed to keep the public safe, and they are driver's licenses. I don't want someone who's incapable of driving a car operating a huge death machine down a highway or residential area. Sure, they're not perfect and the DMV is a mess, but at least the effort of making sure people are competent drivers is something I appreciate. But how these people got their licenses in the first place is beyond me.
Bees do suck, but you know they swerved all over the road because of an insect.
If you can't be bothered to clean your car after a storm, then you shouldn't have one.
The wheels stay on the road, chief.
It's a sports car for a reason.
How did they manage to take it off in one piece?
Might want to look where you're putting all that dirty water, broheem.
Hope they got the no deductible insurance option.
No matter how much they ask.
Stick to the highway.
If the engine's in the front, the car's going to be heavier there.
Who would leave this out in a storm that severe?
Or cars. Or both.
Better to over-act and then tone it down, I guess.
Hope you didn't have anything important in it.
Maybe don't drive.
...in the middle of nowhere...
...maybe put it somewhere not exposed to the elements?
Wait, that isn't a thing.
Dude, I worry about your lungs.
Maybe you should take an uber.
It's easy to get the whole high tide, low tide thing twisted.
I can tell that's an Android phone with a mic jack, too. No need for one of those fancy bluetooth ones, either.
How can you even access anything in that holder while you're driving?
Rule #1, keep your keys with you at all times.
Not sure who told you that.
Contrary to poplar belief, they're not.
Where are the cops when you need them?
Are they seriously trying to drive like this?
We’ve all been there. You swipe right on Tinder, decide on a place to meet, and realize about five minutes in that leaving your house in the first place was a huge error. Maybe you feel like you’ve been catfished because they look nothing like their photos (surprise!), or perhaps you quickly realize they weren’t being sarcastic in their profile when they said their favorite band was The Beatles.
Whatever the case may be, there’s no flying spark to indicate this is the person of your dreams. And maybe you’re the mature kind of individual who can finish their drink, bring up the fact that you don’t see a future together, split the bill, and head your own separate ways. Bravo!
But what if you’re not? u/PM_Me_YourTinyBoobs kindly addressed this very question on Reddit when he asked what a person could say to instantly derail a date. The answers ranged from painfully incestuous to downright hilarious.
Next time you just need to shut it down really quickly and abruptly, these are some perfect lines you can use.
When I had my first drink, I didn't have much of a frame of reference, but I knew that a drink order says a lot about a person. So I chose wisely and just imitated whoever I thought was cool when I was growing up. And there's no one cooler than Clint Eastwood in any Western, ever.
So I ordered myself a whiskey. Neat. I didn't enjoy it. I didn't like the flavor. But I stuck with that drink every time I went out with my friends. I tried different types of whiskey and settled on Jameson. Why? Image. It was all image.
Although I don't really drink that much anymore, when I do, I let my best friend either make my drink or at least decide what I should be sippin' on (he's an amazing bartender), because I clearly have no idea what I'm doing. And he's probably doing me a solid by making me look like I'm somewhat cultured in front of other bartenders. Because, as I've learned in this AskReddit post, there are stereotypes associated with particular drinks and they can get pretty judgmental.
There are plenty of ways to troll a sleeping friend while on a road trip. My personal favorite is parking the car in front of a light pole or a wall, flashing your lights, and having everyone in the car at the same time scream their heads off as if you're all about to die.
That's one way to wake them up.
But Eria found a different approach to trolling her boyfriend, Scott, that had a much longer effect: she enlisted the help of the I'm Telling God Facebook group in roasting him mercilessly for his soporific ways. As a result, the 'Sleepy Scott' meme was born.