I don't know why we celebrate events with pastries. Someone's born, you get a cake. Someone's leaving your job, you get a cake. Your friend survived a horrific shark attack, you get them a cake.
It seems a bit counter-productive to throw a party with food that's objectively terrible for you and only gets you that much closer to an early grave. Yes, I get that it's skeptical to think that way and it's not like I don't love me some sugary snacks, it's just weird that we celebrate accomplishments with frosting.
What's even more perplexing is the decision to plaster these cakes with messages and designs. We're just going to eat these things anyway, so why go through all the trouble of making them look pretty or putting a message on them? Is this some kind of existential message about the nature of life being transient and we should all do our best to live in the moment? Are you telling me Buddhists came up with birthday cakes??
I don't know the answer to this question, but what I do know is it's pretty funny when people mess up while decorating them.
It's like no one takes any pride in their work anymore.
We’ve all been there. You swipe right on Tinder, decide on a place to meet, and realize about five minutes in that leaving your house in the first place was a huge error. Maybe you feel like you’ve been catfished because they look nothing like their photos (surprise!), or perhaps you quickly realize they weren’t being sarcastic in their profile when they said their favorite band was The Beatles.
Whatever the case may be, there’s no flying spark to indicate this is the person of your dreams. And maybe you’re the mature kind of individual who can finish their drink, bring up the fact that you don’t see a future together, split the bill, and head your own separate ways. Bravo!
But what if you’re not? u/PM_Me_YourTinyBoobs kindly addressed this very question on Reddit when he asked what a person could say to instantly derail a date. The answers ranged from painfully incestuous to downright hilarious.
Next time you just need to shut it down really quickly and abruptly, these are some perfect lines you can use.
When I had my first drink, I didn't have much of a frame of reference, but I knew that a drink order says a lot about a person. So I chose wisely and just imitated whoever I thought was cool when I was growing up. And there's no one cooler than Clint Eastwood in any Western, ever.
So I ordered myself a whiskey. Neat. I didn't enjoy it. I didn't like the flavor. But I stuck with that drink every time I went out with my friends. I tried different types of whiskey and settled on Jameson. Why? Image. It was all image.
Although I don't really drink that much anymore, when I do, I let my best friend either make my drink or at least decide what I should be sippin' on (he's an amazing bartender), because I clearly have no idea what I'm doing. And he's probably doing me a solid by making me look like I'm somewhat cultured in front of other bartenders. Because, as I've learned in this AskReddit post, there are stereotypes associated with particular drinks and they can get pretty judgmental.
There are plenty of ways to troll a sleeping friend while on a road trip. My personal favorite is parking the car in front of a light pole or a wall, flashing your lights, and having everyone in the car at the same time scream their heads off as if you're all about to die.
That's one way to wake them up.
But Eria found a different approach to trolling her boyfriend, Scott, that had a much longer effect: she enlisted the help of the I'm Telling God Facebook group in roasting him mercilessly for his soporific ways. As a result, the 'Sleepy Scott' meme was born.