Talking about any aspect of my romantic life with my parents was strictly off-limits—mostly because I was from a religious background and my folks made it very clear that there was only one road to romantic fulfillment: through the careful, formal pursuit of marriage.
The more family members involved in this pursuit, the better. Formal dinner gatherings, awkward conversations between a young man and young woman about career goals and aspirations, with no physical contact whatsoever. God forbid I mentioned I liked someone who wasn't Albanian, or who wasn't at least a few years younger than me, or even expressed remote interest in another man.
Eventually, my folks came around and got out of the whole arranged-marriage-lite mindset and accepted that I was dating people—which will hopefully make things easier for my younger siblings should they ever want to mention that there's someone they're seeing.
Today over dinner I told my parents that I like dating goth girls and now they’re concerned— Matt Paciorkowski (@MyNameIsMarcus) June 16, 2018
Because basically any conversation about "dating" was completely off the table while I was growing up, I definitely want to make my own kids feel like they can speak to me about anything. I know ultimately there are going to be certain things that they'll want to keep off the table or only share with their friends, but I never want them to feel like if they're seeing or talking to someone that they should keep it a secret.
With that being said, I don't think I'll take such an active role in my kids' romantic lives that I'll be going around looking for any suitable girlfriends/boyfriends and handing out their phone numbers to them. Which is what happened to Twitter user Maliyah.
While her mother was at what looks like a high school baseball game, she saw a tall drink of water she thought her daughter would be interested in.
So she stalked him and asked him for his number.
Not only that, but she even managed to snap a photo of the hunk in question and sneak-text it to Maliyah.
Along with some stats to paint a clearer picture.
The teen's father wasn't too thrilled about the proactive approach mom was taking in hooking Maliyah up with a dude.
But it looks like he doesn't have that much to worry about when it comes to Carlos because from the way Maliyah's tweeting about it, they can't be a thing.
She has a thing for baseball players and even though the dude was at a baseball game, he doesn't play the sport.
SUPER SAD CASE: HE DOESNT PLAY BASEBALL ☹️ he plays basketball n volleyball which is cool ig but baseball would’ve been the winner.. sigh— maliyah😽 (@wtfvmxl) June 16, 2018
And Carlos revealed that his mother didn't ask him for his number but that he volunteered it after seeing how cute Maliyah is.
update: he just told me he offered his number to my mom after she showed him how cute her daughter is (me ofc), she didn’t ask. he gave it to her....— maliyah😽 (@wtfvmxl) June 18, 2018
It turns out that people had no chill when it came to trying to elicit personal details about the guy.
Which is a bit questionable, especially after discovering he has a girlfriend.
y’all needa chill 😹 i know he has a girlfriend, we’re FRIENDS. can we not be friends? this whole thing was a joke, we just formed a friendship out of it— maliyah😽 (@wtfvmxl) June 19, 2018
Maliyah's mom isn't the first parent to slickly try and wingwoman for their daughter via text.
There was the epic crusade of this one mom who went with her daughter to her freshman college orientation and ended up hanging out with the football team.
Now it could very well be that mom was just having herself a grand old time with some hunks while her daughter listened to some boring lectures.
But others thought she had different intentions.
Moms make the best wingwomen.