Let's just tell it like it is: Starbucks and a lot of other popular coffee places make breakfast milkshakes more than anything else. Folks are so quick to give themselves type-2 diabetes with whatever beverages they're slurping down that include pumps of various artificially-flavored syrups, little bits of what is essentially candy, and more sugar than you should probably consume in an entire week.
But there are some people who take already sweet drinks from places like Starbucks and decide to concoct their own unholy brand of Barista-breaking beverages. Maybe with the advent of mobile customizations and folks intentionally creating psychotic drink orders so they can post it on social media to see if Baristas would actually make it, it doesn't change the fact that these abominations are actually being created.
Barista Josue Morales took to Twitter to share a recent Starbucks order that was so unbelievably packed with sugar and fixin's that he joked it "made [him] wanna quit [his] job."
While that may sound a bit dramatic, you should just take a look at the ingredients in this thing and you'll get to understand Josue's frustration.
I think his ire has less to do with all of the work that it takes to make this beverage and more to do with the fact that he's a member of the same species as someone who would honestly want to drink this. In case you're wondering, it contains:
- 5 whole bananas
- Extra caramel drizzle
- Extra whipped cream
- Extra ice
- Extra cinnamon dolce topping
- 7 pumps of additional caramel sauce
- Extra caramel crunch
- 1 pump of honey blend
- Extra salted brown butter topping
- 5 pumps of frap roasted coffee
- 7 additional frap chips
- Heavy cream
- And the whole thing's double blended
This thing seems more like an unholy Dairy Queen blizzard than an actual drink you'd order from Starbucks.
And in case you were wondering what Josue's drink costs to make, someone recreated it in the Starbucks mobile ordering application and were greeted with this figure:
It didn't take long for a bunch of other Baristas to share photos of some of the more insane drinks they were forced to make for customers.
Like this swamp water concoction.
Why not just chug syrup at this point, Mohammed?
Looks like we found the guy who requests these types of drinks.
It's not like they're taking photos of the people's faces who are requesting these drinks and putting them online. And it's not like the baristas aren't making them, so they should be allowed comment on how insane they are. If your drink request order is starting to look like a CVS receipt then you should probably re-evaluate what it is you're imbibing.
Like this one that requires two stickers.
But just because something is basic doesn't mean it isn't gag-inducing.
Mango Dragonfruit Lemonade with cinnamon and hazelnut syrup.
SHOTS AND SYRUP BABY.
In their defense, a Twitter user did point out that they were probably using this as a "base" to make their own beverages at home.