Can the real grandparents please stand up? You know, the maw-maws and paw-paws who don't need to be paid to watch their own grandkids? You know, the grandparents who play an active role in their grandchildren's lives.
One mom is tired of the phonies and is here to salute the grandmas and grandpas who actually put the time and effort into seeing their little ones. She shares her relatable perspective below.
Mom calls out grandparents who are all talk and no action.
Rachel (@rachonlife), a self-proclaimed "professional mom" on TikTok, is known for her humorous and relatable takes on parenting and lifestyle. However, she does clarify in her bio that she isn't actually a parenting expert. That said, it still doesn't mean her takes aren't valid.
In one video that gained a lot of traction, Rachel addressed how some grandparents put on this entire facade of being dedicated grandparents when they aren't. She emphasized that if grandparents do choose to be involved in their grandchildren's lives, the relationship should be beneficial on all fronts.
“I love talking about how boomer grandparents are like just a------- and say they don’t like to watch their grandchildren because it’s not their job," she says in her video.
Rachel explains that she isn't talking about all grandparents, but rather a specific type that's seemingly absent from their grandchildren's lives, but still wants that coveted grandma and grandpa label.
"It’s the grandparents who never come around, but who post on Facebook that they miss their grandkids," Rachel says. "Or you know that they are the best grandma ever [when they] see them four times a year and demand that their children get in the car and drive to them. That’s who we’re talking about."
Rachel posits that if you want to be a grandparent, you have to put in the effort. "You are not a grand friend or a a grand sitter. You are a grandparent, so you do play a role in your grandchildren's lives if you want to be a part of them."
She further explains that grandparents should play a role in raising their grandchildren and that it should be a "constructive relationship."
Take the case of her in-laws. "My in-laws are so amazing because my husband and I go to therapy every Monday night. They come to our house at 6:30 p.m. every Monday night, put our kids to sleep, and then when we get home they leave," Rachel shares.
She explains that they aren't putting on some kind of act, but rather they know "that their son — who is a 33-year-old man — needs their help — and it’s their job to help their son out in a way that works for everyone."
"We are not taking advantage of them. They are not overstepping. Our children have a healthy relationship with their grandparents. It's okay," Rachel adds.
She ends her video by saying, "If you feel offended by anything that I'm saying, Barb, it's because the call is coming from inside the house."
In the comment section, users understood exactly where Rachel was coming from. "Posting on Facebook and never seeing them goes hand in hand!" wrote one user.
Another user shared that her mother lives down the street and asks that she bring her grandchild to her.
Rachel responded to this comment, noting that she has the same issue. She decided not to take them to their grandma's house since grandma didn't make an effort to toddler or baby-proof it.
"My parents are grand-acquaintances, nothing more. It’s so sad," wrote a third user.
And one comment just read: "And then they want to brag about how much they miss them."
Rachel responded to it: "Or make us seem like we're withholding our kids."
Bottom line: If grandparents want to be involved in their grandchildren's lives, it should be a meaningful and genuine relationship and not just one that's for show.