“Blatant Flirtatious Behavior” — Woman Claims Couples Therapist Gaslit Her and Then Married Her Ex

What does it say about a guy if a counselor who specializes in couples therapy wants to marry them? One might assume that perhaps they have some knowledge that the man in question checks all the boxes for a potentially healthy relationship.

But what if they ended up marrying a former patient of theirs, and were accused of actively flirting with them in couples therapy sessions?

According to Redditor @lemonadedays, that's exactly what happened to her. She detailed her story on the site's r/AITA sub back in 2020, and then it was subsequently shared on the site's r/BestofRedditorUpdates subreddit.

She wrote about how in 2017, when she was 25 years old, she attended couples therapy sessions with her boyfriend, who was 36 years old at the time.

OP stated that after three visits to the therapist, she refused to continue going. That's because, as she saw it, the counselor had an "extremely judgmental attitude toward" her. Furthermore, she believed the therapist was being "blatant[ly] flirtatious" with her then-boyfriend.

The Redditor's significant other at the time "called [her] delusional for pointing [the therapist's] attitude." Furthermore, the counselor didn't really have many positive things to say about OP during their sessions. "She had told me that I seemed too immature, not ready for therapy or a serious relationship."

Moreover, the majority of the session time, according to OP, centered primarily on her boyfriend's gripes. "The whole thing was focused on my ex-boyfriend and his complaints about me; she never asked about my feelings or perspective in the relationship."

OP and her former boyfriend's time together didn't last that long after their therapy sessions. Two months after they had visited the relationship counselor, they broke up. However, OP still lived with her ex until November.

It wasn't until after she had moved out that she suspected he was seeing their short-lived therapist.

"They happened to be getting ready to go out on his motorcycle and were both wearing full-face motorcycle helmets, but I KNEW from her body type and hair that it was her (along with my instincts, which suspected something was going on the whole time)."

Despite seeing what she was sure was evidence of their relationship, OP ultimately decided to "move ... on with [her] life." Ultimately, it seems that an update from OP's friend prompted her to share her story on Reddit and ask for some advice.

She learned that her ex had posted a picture of himself getting married online, and the bride in question was none other than the therapist they had seen together. While she is happy to have moved on, she debated whether or not she should bring the matter up to the American Counseling Association.

Following their sessions, OP says the "harmful stuff she [the therapist] said to [her] in the sessions ... really messed with [her] head." However, she worried that if she were to file a complaint, she might come off as a bitter ex.

One commenter who replied to the story stated that they were a therapist and they recommended she report the counselor as "her behavior is ridiculously unethical."

Someone else stated that there's a rule that stipulates therapists aren't allowed to date patients within 12 months of the last encounter. There does seem to be some varying discourse around this topic, however. This Medscape post mentions a six-month-since-last-visit rule.

But GoodRX doesn't mince words when it comes to therapists dating their clients. According to the healthcare website, therapists dating their patients mustn't ever engage in any type of romantic relationship with them when the American Counseling Association is concerned.

The same goes for the National Association of Social Workers (NASW), as well as the American Psychiatric Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. The American Psychological Association stresses that folks cannot "get involved sexually with a current patient." Nor can they provide counseling "to a former romantic partner."

Further questions from other users revealed that it was her boyfriend's idea to go into therapy and that she tagged along with the sessions. OP explains that she never signed a consent form and that all of the appointments were arranged by her ex.

This raised alarm bells with several users, who surmised there was a high probability OP's boyfriend had orchestrated the entire thing as a means of manipulating his girlfriend, basically carrying out a plot that seemed like something straight from Ozark.

OP also added that her boyfriend had vigorously pursued having a relationship with her when she was 22 years old, but then adopted a "holier-than-thou" attitude when he felt that she couldn't live up to his standards. Additionally, she called him a "master psychological manipulator" and stated that after their sessions with the counselor, she felt like she was to blame for the faults in their relationship.

In her final post on the topic, she concluded that while she hopes her ex and former therapist ultimately did find love, she couldn't forget how a licensed mental health professional abused her position with a vulnerable patient.

Thus, she felt compelled to report the counselor to the ACA.