As a person who goes on incessantly long rants that are of no interest to anyone other than myself, about things that I absolutely loathe — like the concept of vacations, or diamond engagement rings — I can get this guy's hatred for birds.
In fact, I just got pooped on a bit by a pigeon today. I know they're too dumb (maybe) to realize they're crapping on someone or something, but I just can't forgive it simply because it's dumb.
I'd imagine that when they fly around, they're thinking how much better they are than us idiotic humans who can barely jump long distances without sustaining serious injuries. Not to mention their incessant chattering, squawking, and pushing their young out of nests when they're not ready to fly. And yes, I know there are exceptions to the rule. Cute cockatiels snuggling up to owners are fine and all, but I'm talking about the legions of winged menaces around the world.
That doesn't mean I don't respect the heck out of some birds, however, like crows. They're wicked smart, not to mention they helped inspire one of the coolest '90s revenge-action flicks of all time. (We can forget about the crappy follow-up sequels, but I'll blame production companies and not our avian enemies for that one.)
So when I came across this irate neighbor's crusade against crows that he posted on Next Door, I totally got it.
He (I'm assuming it's a he, pardon if I'm wrong) wants everyone in the community to band together to run those annoying birds out of their turf — and he's got a well-thought out plan to do so. It includes making loud noises at them, pointing lasers at them (don't worry, it's totally legal to do,) and physically chasing them away.
The best part is that this guy has successfully scared the birds from ever entering his yard and home. But the trouble is he's surrounded by other neighbors who are either too frightened, or indifferent to shoo these birds outta dodge.
He is certain that they can rid themselves of the crow menace "easily" if they all just stick together. He's also open to any other crow hunting suggestions people may have.
However, as some Redditors began pointing out in the comments section, this individual might be making a huge mistake when it comes to his crow-hunting pastime. iBird pointed out that "crows learn and remember people's faces, they hold massive grudges and might make their life more annoying for them lol."
This was something user stygOC corroborated with a personal story of their own. "Have fun! Those damn suckers remember you forever. I had an evil crow dive at me in my old apartment. There was a girl that fed the crow and she looked like me. I had to leave the house in a hat all the time."
Crows are actually so smart that they entertain themselves in some pretty nefarious ways. Like this clip of a crow instigating these two cats to fight with one another just so they could sit back and have a caw. Man they're such trouble makers.
And sometimes their forms of entertainment are just really pure. Like this crow that learned how to snowboard to pass the time. It's awesome, even if it's a gross bird doing it.
We'll never know if this bird-hating individual (I keep thinking it's a guy) ever enacted their plan, but I'd like to think that there are some neighbors who rose up and said "enough" to these menaces.