A distraught father who knows a "dark secret" about his daughter doesn't know whether he should divulge it to her fiancé.
When it comes to relationships, it's always hard to know when you should stay quiet and when you should speak up.
In my experience, few people react well to potentially bad news that further complicates their lives or makes them face uncomfortable truths.
Only once have has a friend thanked me for telling them what I honestly thought about their jerk significant other. But that's literally one person. Most don't really appreciate having it pointed out to them that they're dating a scumbag. Some have even stopped talking to me altogether.
On the other hand, I've had friends who were ruined by bad relationships with people who suck and watched, guiltily, as they lamented not learning the truth sooner.
So I can understand the dilemma facing this dad's who posted to the AITA subreddit. He asked if he should reveal his daughter's "dark secret" to her fiancé before they marry. There's lot at stake — namely, his relationship with his daughter.
What is the secret? She's a diagnosed sociopath.
It's something he's known about his little girl from a very, very young age. According to his post, she exhibited "disturbing" behavior early on: she abused her sister and often talks about how she has no empathy towards other human beings at all.
He went on to detail a very disturbing incident where she attended the funeral of a close friend and admitted she didn't really feel anything about the death. She was "neutral" to the whole thing and only acted as if she was "sad" and "broken up."
While this is a difficult thing for any parent to admit, especially when their child says their lack of empathy even extends to their own family, the young woman in seems to have adapted to life quite well. With therapy, she's been able to live a stable and relatively pro life. She's even become adept at attracting people as friends and romantic partners, especially men.
Her current boyfriend, whom she's been dating for a year and a half, has plans to propose. The way the father describes the guy is nothing but adulatory: he thinks the dude's quite the catch and is absolutely head over heels for his daughter.
There's only one problem: the dad is sure that his daughter doesn't really love this dude at all.
She's been open enough with her father, as they are very close, that she doesn't feel love or empathy towards anyone. When he suggested to his daughter that she should tell her potential future husband about her condition, she made it very clear that she wants to keep it a secret, which doesn't sit too well with her pops.
Although he's warned her that he'll tell her boyfriend she's a diagnosed sociopath if she won't, he still seems on the fence, hence his turning to the internet for some anonymous advice.
Would he be wrong for potentially "sabotaging" his daughter's relationship by divulging her diagnosis, or is it the right thing to do?
The responses, unfortunately, don't seem to really help this distraught father at all. People truly seemed divided on the issue. The top-rated comment acknowledges he's in a true ethical dilemma: either he betray his daughter's confidence and potentially ruins their relationship for the rest of their lives, or he keeps the truth from this young man and maybe watches them live out a marriage based on lies.
Then there were other people who thought that he absolutely had to tell the young man, as difficult as the decision is, as it's the right thing to do. From the dad's post, it seems like he's leaning in that direction anyway.
What do you think? Should Papa go and spill the beans? Or is it a matter that's between his daughter and her future potential husband?