Have you ever looked down at your body and found yourself wondering where a bruise came from? Personally, I need some sort of app to track the amount of times I've run into something or hit the corner of a coffee table because I have no spatial reasoning. Seriously though, are the coffee tables moving around in the middle of the night like some sort of off-brand Night at the Museum?
For TikTok user @yomafavpoolboy, who also goes by Muchacho, bruises are an everyday occurrence. She works for FedEx, which means getting a little banged up is all part of the job, but should it be? As Lady Macbeth once said, "Out, damned spot." Let's get into this medical mystery.
Here's a FedExample of how one can get bruised on the job.
If there was ever a time to drop in Korn's "Are You Ready," it's this TikTok from Muchacho (probably not her real name but fun to write), who has used it in the best way possible. As she wonders why every person she encounters in the wild, is staring at her in "shock," the big reveal happens.
Muchacho pans down to her legs, which are covered in bruises. First of all we do appreciate her support of Crocs, the comfortable shoes that people love to hate and hate to love. Secondly, there are so many bruises that if I connected them with string, I would look like I was trying to solve a cold case. It was Mrs. Peacock, at the FedEx load-in, with a box.
The first comment sums things up pretty beautifully. "Girl, what the h---?" asks a concerned follower. Another person chimes in with a far more interesting theory that should in fact become a motion picture: Are you the employee they pay to fight off all the demons in the sorting room? If Jason Blum is reading this, Blumhouse has work to do.
Everything is OK, the bruises are normal for this woman.
In a followup TikTok, Muchacho addressed everyone's very normal concerns for her well-being. She is not being mistreated by FedEx but rather her own genetics. We've all been there. Sometimes we get good things from our parents and sometimes we get arches and/or cholesterol that are too high. What the heck genes?
After giving a shoutout to both Melanie Martinez and Hershey Park, two joy providers, Muchacho adorably assures the commenters she is OK. "Number one, I'm not being abused. I promise. I am perfectly safe," she says while laughing. Also, she loves working at FedEx, and I love when people love what they do. That's the dream!
She goes on to also praise her coworkers. "I love my job. It's so fun. The people are really nice." In case anyone is wondering if Muchacho is playing it fast and loose at work, she's not. "I follow all the safety guidelines. I just bruise really easily," she reveals. Same!
"As far as I know, I don't have any health conditions," Melanie shares. "I've seen doctors before and I was anemic for a very long time but they told me I'm not anemic anymore, and that my levels are OK." Because of this update, Muchacho stopped taking her supplements which I assume were iron supplements.
Prior to taking said supplements, Muchacho informed the social mediaverse that she was still a bruisefest. As Bruce Hornsby once sang, "That's just the way it is." Apparently her mom is the same way. It's fun to match!
Addressing the safety guidelines issue again, Muchacho attempts to describe what her workplace looks like. "I don't know how to describe my building, but we have chutes that come down and I get put into very busy bellies of trucks." She usually works solo which means the bulk of the heavy lifting falls to her.
Physically, Muchacho appears to be rather slight but she has a hack when it comes to moving larger boxes. "I'm a dancer. I'm in color guard. I have a lot of lower body strength." Because of this she uses her legs to help push up bigger boxes but that's also what you're supposed to do. Please always lift with your legs and not your back. Unfortunately, sometimes you just bump into things and a bruise is the fruit of your labor.