20 People Share The Craziest Ways They've Injured Themselves

Robin Zlotnick - Author

Oct. 15 2019, Updated 2:41 p.m. ET

featured freak injuries
Source: iStock Photo / Twitter

When I was 5, I was playing on one of those sticks that had a horse head on top... in socks... on hardwood floor. I fell and split my chin open and got three stitches. As a senior in high school, my best friend and I were hanging out on the trampoline in her backyard when, somehow, my front teeth ended up in her skull. My teeth were OK. Her head bled a lot. Sometime after that, I was so mad that I stormed out of the house one day to go for an angry drive, but I tripped and rolled my ankle and tumbled down the stairs and had to sulk back into the house to ice my leg. 

We've all injured ourselves in freaky and dumb ways throughout our lives. This thread proves the experience is universal. 

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Finger caught in the door

This Twitter account started off the thread with their own classic, dumb injury: the finger in the door. Somehow, the stories only get sillier and sillier from here.

Cartoon rake accident

This is amazing. When you see it happen in cartoons and movies, you think this is one of those things that never happens in real life. But apparently, that's not true! Apparently, you can actually knock yourself unconscious by stepping on a rake.

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Burned chest

I feel kind of bad saying it, but honestly, he deserved this. Everyone knows you don't iron your shirt once it's on your body. You're pretty much asking for burns if you do that.

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Angrily dialing

I can picture it happen, and it's making me laugh so hard. If you grew up in a time where there were actual buttons to dial on phones, you know the experience of smashing the buttons in frustration. Charlie just...missed, that's all! And his finger ended up in a wall. 

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Tripped over own foot

This sounds like something I would definitely do. I am the queen of tripping over my own feet. Good thing is it probably looked really cool because they were in their tae kwon do uniform. Probably looked like they did it on purpose until they were lying unconscious on the floor.

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Stuck in elevator

This sounds like an absolutely terrifying nightmare and I don't want to think about it for one more second. How do you get your head stuck in an elevator if you're not trying to get your head stuck in an elevator?! I feel like this would traumatize me for life.

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Trust fall gone wrong

This is terrible but also wonderful irony. Obviously, their parents wanted them to go to Jesus camp to encourage their religious beliefs. Instead, they ended up with a broken arm and no faith whatsoever. I don't blame them.

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Fitted sheet injury

This sounds like it really hurt. Putting a fitted sheet on a bed is no small feat. Neither is folding them. Maybe we should just give up fitted sheets altogether. They clearly do more harm than good. 

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Hackey sack

Nothing about this sentence is OK or makes sense. Fifty-year-olds should definitely not be playing hackey sack anywhere, let alone at a Black Sabbath concert. Let's be smart, people.

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Ramen injury

When those ramen noodles are hard and uncooked, they can be dangerous! I wonder if she cut herself on the actual noodles or that metal death trap also known as the flavoring packet. 

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Uncooked spaghetti

I never knew of all the dangers of pasta until I started reading this thread. This one is horrifying on another level. It's like stepping on a nail but with the added layer of horror that is a spaghetti noodle expanding in your foot. 

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Spider web sprain

Have you ever walked into a spider web, though? If you don't panic when you're suddenly assaulted with sneaky spider webs, I would be more concerned for you than if you flap so hard you sprain your wrist.

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Spooked by one's own reflection

This is really funny. I'm not going to lie and say I've never spooked myself with my own reflection, but the fact that they ran and smashed into their door, breaking two of their toes, just brings this whole incident to the next level. Truly amazing.

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Chipped on a baguette

The baguettes in France are notoriously crusty, but I didn't think they were so hard that they would make you chip a tooth! He really does look like Lloyd Christmas, Jim Carrey's character from the Dumb and Dumber movies.

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Shadow puppets

I've said it before and I'll say it again; cats are evil. I don't know how this guy broke his thumb playing shadow puppets with his cat. All I know is that it was definitely the cat's fault. 

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Dog obstacle course

When you're a little kid, brothers are good for one thing, and that is making you do dumb, dangerous stuff that puts you in harm's way. I can't believe at 7 she was tough enough not to say anything for hours! I would have been crying like crazy!

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Knelt on a needle

This story sent a chill up my spine. I'm picturing kneeling on that needle and shivering just thinking about it. That's horrible. If that happened to me when I was 6, I'd still be having nightmares about it today. Guaranteed.

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This one is so vague but so funny that I had to include it. How did a rooster break this person's arm? I know they can be pretty vicious, but this seems extreme. Were they a child when this happened? Do they now eat chicken with a vengeance? I need to know everything.

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Kick ball concussion

It's never not funny when someone runs into a tree while not looking at the tree. It's a classic cartoon injury. But honestly, serves them right for making one of the bases a tree. That's not how bases should be! 

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Tennis racket trouble

I'm trying to picture how this is possible, and I look like the woman in that meme with all the math equations floating around her face. I would have paid to see this happen. 

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