Usually, weddings are joyous affairs where you celebrate a couple, wish them well, and send them off into their (hopefully) happy future together. But every once in a while, you can tell that a relationship is not going to last from the very start. This AskReddit thread is chock full of stories about weddings where it was clear from the beginning of the ceremony, or sometimes even before that, that the relationship was completely doomed.
When the bride makes crazy demands, that's not a good sign.
Even before the wedding, this bride was making demands of her husband-to-be. Iwanttheknife, who was the best man at this wedding, wrote that the bride demanded that the husband quit smoking weed before they got married. If you're "strenuously anti-drug," as this woman was, that's fine! But this is definitely something that you should talk about with your partner before you agree to get married, especially if your partner is attached to smoking weed, as this dude clearly was.
You see, he had no intention of quitting. He just thought he could hide it from her and lie about it... I guess forever, which turned out to be a huge mistake, obviously. They were divorced nine months after their wedding. She had caught him smoking in his car in the driveway. Hey, if something is a dealbreaker for your and your partner can't commit to it, maybe don't get married! And if you're that partner, don't lie about it, doofus!
Infidelity at the wedding itself is also apparently a thing.
In_My_Own_Image was the videographer at a wedding where the bride seemed ecstatic and the groom was totally "disinterested and bored." After the ceremony, they saw the groom sitting on a bench kissing one of the bridesmaids! He was cheating on his brand new wife at — and I cannot stress this enough — his own wedding. Apparently, this kind of super gross behavior isn't all that uncommon for doomed couples. But then why go through with the wedding at all?!
11itneverstops11 was the guest of the bride at a wedding where the groom literally hit on her while drunk! The bride was her coworker and running partner, and the night before the wedding, the groom touched her leg to feel her "running muscles." That marriage didn't last two years.
There's also this unbelievable story: The bride "ugly cried the entire reception" of this wedding at which thethrowawayduck was the guest. It was clear the only reason they were getting married was that she was pregnant with their second child. The best man, who was of a different race, "seemed very jumpy the entire time," two facts that would later become very relevant.
Six months later, the baby was born, and was clearly biracial. Wow. Less than a year after they were married, they got divorced, and now she's with the best man, who you probably determined was the father of the baby. Turns out that the groom was also probably cheating, but "she just had the misfortune that her infidelity was a lot more obvious."
This sounds like the plot of a movie that would end and I'd be like, "That was entertaining but it was soooo dramatic and not at all realistic."
Sometimes, a lack of enthusiasm is all the evidence you need that things are not going to end well.
Khalamar attended a wedding where instead of saying, "I do," the groom said, "Eh... I guess..." Ouch and a half! This marriage didn't last two years.
Sometimes, the groom goes through with the wedding but immediately regrets it. That's what happened at BagelsAreStaleDonuts' cousin's wedding. After the ceremony, the cousin's new husband "just sat down in the honeymooon suite, put his face in his hands, and said something along the lines of, 'I made a mistake.'" What is this, an episode of Arrested Development?! The couple stayed together for five years, "had two kids, and a very angry divorce."
When the guests of the wedding are literally taking bets at the reception and create a formal pool for how long the marriage would last, that's also not a good sign. But that's what happened when picksandchooses attended their friend's wedding. The longest guess was two years, and the marriage lasted two years and one month. What can I say? They kind of nailed it.
It's also a bad sign if the groom's family hates the bride so much that they absolutely refuse to allow her and her family at the reception. Crazy, right? But it happened, and Jenny010137 witnessed it. A wedding ceremony, then two separate receptions. The marriage ended, but it did last a decade!
The marriages that start with lies always end disastrously.
Stubept's sister-in-law actually married a straight-up grifter! This dude proposed after a year of dating. They planned a big wedding for a year down the road but then decided to get married on a whim in a small civil ceremony and just have a big party later. A few months after the ceremony, he had heart surgery for a bad valve he had since childhood.
Then, when it came time to plan the big wedding party, the bride notices a $600 charge on their credit card bill. Turns out he'd been paying cam girls. It later became obvious this dude had convinced her to marry so he could get on her insurance and get that heart surgery. Then, when he got what he needed, he ruined the marriage. So disturbing. So sneaky.
Occasionally both people in the couple are in on the grift and they turn on each other when they get caught. That's what happened with Skate3158's cousin. They had a lavish wedding, and then afterward, the couple kept buying big ticket items, a Maserati, a Mercedes, a yacht. And these are not extraordinarily wealthy people.
"Turns out they had been running a Ponzi scheme and defrauded people out of more than a million dollars. After they got caught, they turned on each other." A true white collar crime couple! They both got prison time. Needless to say, I don't think the relationship survived.
When you're a wedding musician, you witness a lot of crazy things, and avacash has stories. At one wedding, they were groped by both the groom and the bride! At another, the bride wrote gorgeous, heartfelt vows and the groom stole his from a TV show. At yet another, the couple chose Adele's "Someone Like You" for their first dance song...which is a heartbreaking and sad breakup ballad. The list goes on and on, but we only have so much time!
Apparently, wedding music choices are a big deal.
Back2Bach had a couple come to see them to choose music for their wedding ceremony. They were at each other's throats the entire time, unable to agree on one single song for any aspect of their ceremony. I think it's safe to say that if you get into heated, full-on fights about music, you probably disagree with each other about other, bigger things, and you might want to examine that before you get married.
In addition to music, you should probably be on the same page about what you think is funny and about what tone your vows should have. Oudeis16 was at a wedding where the vows were completely mismatched, and it got uncomfortable. The groom's vows were "touching and endearing," and the bride's were "a bunch of passive-aggressive, sexist attempts at jokes," like "'I promise to never let you win an argument. I promise to never let you watch a football game in peace. I promise to leave the bathroom a mess and yell at you about the toilet seat." Yeesh. Awkward.
If you cannot stop crying on the day of your wedding, that's a pretty good indicator that you aren't feeling as great about the whole thing as you probably should. BruceLee1255 wrote, "At my first wedding, I couldn't stop sobbing. It was weird. I thought it was because I was emotional, but I realize now that it was my body screaming at me saying, 'DUDE STOP.' We were stuck together for 10 years."
Speaking of signs...
Theycallmesledge's wife was the witness at a shotgun wedding. "It was the most informal thing ever," they wrote, "and when she went to sign as the witness, the pen ran out of ink! Haha. The bride laughed it off nervously and said, 'Omg, is that a sign?!'" Well, it turns out it was because the couple split up just a few months later.
OK, I've put you through all this stress and grief...Here's a final, memorable one that might lighten your mood...
Megabollockchops describes this bonkers wedding he witnessed: "The bride got totally drunk, she sexily danced on the dance floor solo instead of her first dance, turned the wedding DJ into a karaoke, started a fight with the best man's girlfriend. At the end of the night she had to be carried to her room because she was that drunk.
"We've been happily married for 15 years now, so turns out I was wrong." See? Not every disastrous wedding ends in divorce!
More from Distractify:
More From Distractify
Relationships Relationships Relationships Trending