One of the most difficult things human beings can conquer is loneliness. It's why a lot of people rush into marriages or try to lay the groundwork for a long-term relationship with people they'd probably otherwise not be so crazy about, just because the pangs of loneliness are too painful to bear.
There are several ways folks can beat loneliness. Sure, there's nothing as beautiful as finding that person who is your soulmate — it's the stuff that dreams, songs, movies, poems, pretty much everything, is made of, but what makes it so magical, as sitting-around-the-campfire-and-passing-the-blunt-around-whoa-man as it sounds, is that finding love isn't something you can force.
You can repetition yourself into going into the gym to get in shape, or hold yourself to a high standard at work by being consistent and reliable and completing your tasks no matter what's going on in your life, but you're not going to force love. And when you're romantically interested in someone, clingy-ness can be a major turn off because subconsciously we may get the sense that this person doesn't love you for you, it's just that they can't handle loneliness with equanimity.
This may be the reason why this man decided to pen a handwritten note to a Twitter user who goes by "Enough for Delusion." Here's what happened: EFD says that he went on a first date with someone in his building and they had a good time.
They texted on and off for a few days, with a maximum four-day break in between texts, EFD says. That's when he came home from the gym one day to find a handwritten note from the man he went on a date with that read: "Hey! I wanted to drop a note instead of shooting you a text again - had to change pens cause it started to fade. What's the deal?'
The note continued, "If you're not ghosting me then what are you doing? You haven't responded to the text or voice memo I sent so I'm a bit confused - on one end you're telling me that you had a good time and def want to hang out again but then you're also not responding or making an effort to."
"It doesn't seem like you're interested in anything (platonic or romantic) - which I can be okay with, but I do believe I'm owed the courtesy of you letting me know if that is the case. If this is your version of 'honest communication', I don't think we are aligned. I'm hating the mixed signals - it's giving me anxiety and confusing me. I'd like to get aligned - I hope to hear back from you."
EFD redacts the phone number they left on the note, which ends with, "in case you don't have my number anymore. Or feel free to come up for a cup of tea and some puppy therapy."
The Twitter user posted the note along with the following comment on Twitter: "Y’all…I went on ONE date with this dude in my building, we’ve exchanged a few texts with four days max in between…I come home from the gym and THIS is on my door…call 911"
He also provided additional context in a follow-up tweet: "For context, I was very clear that I enjoyed our first date, I even scheduled a second date! But also said I’d be pretty disconnected until then because of work. Sometimes people still need reassurance despite effective communication If you’re anxious and needy say that first!"
EFD posted a screenshot of their conversation with the neighbor where he politely explains that the individual requires "more communication and reassurance than [he has] the capacity for."
The neighbor then says he didn't mean to "overwhelm" him and asks if they can speak on the phone for a bit, to which EFD replies he doesn't think is a good idea.
While there were a lot of people who commended him for the way he handled the situation, there were others who criticized EFD.
Namely because he posted the private letter online for the internet to see, and that bragging about how "nice" he was wasn't a good look.
There were some folks who defended the neighbor, stating that they were only looking for "basic communication" and EFD was mean for making his neighbor feel bad for wanting that.
But there were throngs of other people who told the Twitter user that he should be thankful their neighbor showed a "red flag" so early on. What do you think?