When it comes to being a top professional in anything: basketball, oil painting, pottery shaping, duck-calling, or baking, there's a threshold one must break through to surpass a certain skill set to pull moves off the cuff and blend the repetition of practiced and practiced and practiced technique, with resolve and intention, with creativity.,
Baking can be viewed as a dichotomy of two seemingly disparate phenomena: on the one hand, the act of measuring out ingredients, applying heat and moisture to said ingredients, and balancing fats with sugars with proteins and carbohydrates while weighing a litany of other external factors such as choice of bake pan and even the type of heat that's being inside of which heating structure (conventional oven, brick, electric, gas, propane, straight fire, etc.) there's a lot that can go wrong.
Which is probably why ready-made-solutions that one that simply pop in the oven, like Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, take the guesswork out of serving up guests, friends, family, loved ones (and maybe not-so-loved-ones) hot and ready bread.
Making them is even fun too: you pop the canister open, place them on a baking tray, follow the heating/timing/cooling instructions and go about your merry day.
That is, unless you're the husband of Twitter user Nimisha Barton (@nimishabarton).
The writer and educator shared a photo of her significant other's attempt at making crescent rolls that turned out to be a form of post-modernist art. The crescent rolls looked less like half moons and more like the handiwork of someone who recently learned how to draw triangles and is really jazzed to show you how good they've gotten.
To Nimisha's husband's credit, upon seeing the crescent rolls, he didn't try to pretend like everything was fine nor did he immediately launch into the blame game and accuse Pillsbury of giving him a faulty container somehow. She wrote: "His first words- “I made them but they don’t look very crescent-y'"
Her post raked in over 15.2 million views on Twitter and has been retweeted over 7,200 times, with throngs of folks cracking jokes at his sad-looking crescent rolls' expense: "I guess Pillsbury need to remove 'easy' from the name," one person wrote.
Another quipped: "not all heroes roll crepes"
While someone else seemed to honestly try and understand why Nimisha's husband accidentally made Pillsbury flat crisps and asked an important question: did he think the dough was self-rolling?
"Did he think they’d roll themselves up in the oven?" they asked.
And while it might seem like a pretty straightforward endeavor for most people, there are step-by-step tutorial guides on how to properly prepare crescent rolls on YouTube.
First, you're going to want to pre-heat the oven to 350-degrees Fahrenheit. Then you're going to want to grab a baking tray. After doing that, do yourself a favor and lay some parchment paper over it. Once that's done, you can go ahead and pop that canister and unroll the dough onto the parchment into 8 separate pieces.
Once the bits of dough are properly space out, you're going to want to correct the error that Nimisha's husband made and roll those little bad boys up, giving them plenty of room away from each other so they don't all bake together into one uni-crescent-roll, and pop the tray into the oven from 9-12 minutes. Pillsbury's got their official instructions here if you'd rather get it straight from the horse's mouth, too.
And if you're wondering whether or not the little dough buy's canned pseudo-croissants are bad for you, then you might not want to read up on what some food outlets have to say about the ready-to-bake product.
Ingredient Inspector highlighted that the food is packed with hydrogenated soybean oil and artificial coloring; the outlet even goes onto say that the canned bread stuff actually includes four ingredients Whole Foods has banned from appearing on its shelves.
Are you a fan of the pre-made rolls? Or does the fact that they contain bleached flour and hydrogenated palm oil, along with other ingredients many people seem to frown upon, enough to keep you away from indulging?