“We have to act graciously in victory,” Carrey said as President-elect Biden in the Saturday, Nov. 7, episode of the NBC sketch comedy show. “We need to go forward together. Unfortunately, there are situations in life — and this is one of them — where there must be a winner and a loooooooser.”
The 2020 election was “like having sex with Sting.”
“Can you believe it? I honestly kinda can’t,” Carrey’s Biden said in the sketch, delivering a joyous victory speech. “It’s been so long since something good happened.”
“Sure, it took forever. We kept edging closer and closer. It was like having sex with Sting,” Carrey added, referencing the English musician’s famous comments about enjoying tantric sex.
Carrey’s Biden went on: “But what a release, man! I’ve never felt so alive, which is ironic because I’m not that alive. And look, as I’ve said many times, I don’t care whether you voted for me or not. I’m going to be a president for all Americans. Whether you’re from a liberal state like California or a conservative state like Oklahoma or a cracked-out hot mess like Florida, I will be your president.”
Kamala Harris’ election to vice president “checks more boxes than a disqualified ballot.”
Carrey’s Biden then introduced running mate Kamala Harris, once again played by SNL alum Maya Rudolph. “I am humbled and honored to be the first female, the first Black, the first Indian-American, and the first biracial vice president,” Rudolph’s Harris said, as the audience cheered and clapped.
“Also, my husband will be the first Second Gentleman, and he’s Jewish, so between us, we check more boxes than a disqualified ballot,” she quipped, referring to Harris’ husband, Douglas Emhoff.
“Macho Man” Trump refuses to concede.
In the sketch, Alec Baldwin reprised his role as Donald Trump and offered a victory speech of his own. “As anyone who died halfway through Tuesday knows, I was reelected President of the United States,” Baldwin’s version of the 45th president said. “But of course they’re trying to steal the election away from me. So, c’mon, let’s hear it. ‘Stop the count! Stop the count!’ What’s that? I’m behind? Oh, OK, then, ‘Count all the votes! Every last vote!’”
“But we all know this election was rigged. Just look at the map. There was no blue wave. There was a red wave across the whole country,” he added, showing off a map of COVID-19 hotspots. “See? So much red. So much red.”
Baldwin’s Trump vowed to fight the election results to the bitter end, then wandered the dais and sat down at a piano. “Let me remind all of you who I really am,” he says, launching into a forlorn rendition of the Village People hit “Macho Man.”
“This isn’t goodbye, America,” Baldwin’s Trump promised. “I’m just going to say, see you in court!”