Childbirth is one of if not the most physically demanding thing a person can endure. A human being with a whole head is expelled out of a uterus through an opening that is usually not wide enough to let a whole human head out of it! Childbirth means untold amounts of pain, strain, and effort. It means lots of blood, sweat, and tears, both literally and figuratively.
Let's just say that when moms-to-be go into labor, they are probably more concerned with their intense contractions than with contouring. Or so I thought.
The newest trend in childbirth is moms-to-be doing full face beats while they're in labor. No, I'm not kidding. These women are literally lying in hospital beds applying layers and layers of makeup between and sometimes during contractions. After all, who doesn't want to look good for the birth of their baby?
Women have many reasons for doing their makeup while they're in labor. Some want to feel like their best selves for this life-changing moment, and this is what makes them feel good. Great. Some really do give in to that toxic notion — heightened by the prevalence of social media — that women should always look put-together, even when their bodies are about to be ripped apart. Not great.
And others are Instagram influencers who have product to sell and money to make even when they're about to give birth, because the hustle never stops and late-stage capitalism has stripped away all notions of time off and privacy. Cool!
The woman in the photo above, @AlexisJayda, is a beauty vlogger by day. She literally filmed an entire makeup tutorial for her fans while sitting in a hospital bed in labor. I mean, you go girl? I guess? If that's what you really wanted?
Whatever their reasons, this is clearly a trend that's becoming increasingly popular for moms-to-be everywhere. I just hope they're using waterproof products, because they're going to be sweating in a few hours when a child is careening out of their uterus!
Makeup artist Alaha, pictured above, wrote on Instagram that she put makeup on while in labor as a distraction from the pain. "I didn’t apply my makeup to be vain, or to make sure I 'looked good' for pics," she wrote. "I mean sure, that was a great bonus lol. I applied my makeup because...I was in excruciating pain and needed something, anything, that would require my full attention and take my mind off of the pain!"
That makes sense if makeup is your thing. I just really hope women aren't feeling pressure to look their best while giving birth. Because it's super hard! You're already a hero for doing what you're doing. And you are guaranteed to feel all sorts of actual pressure during this process. You don't also need that made-up BS about the expectations society puts on women.
Makeup artist Lindsay Bryan, pictured here, plugged her new makeup kit in this post: "PLUS if you use my code LINDSAY you get an extra 10% off! ❤️💖 What are you all up today? I’m back at home counting contractions."
What a world we live in.
I guess the moral of the story is, if you're about to give birth, do your makeup if you want to do your makeup. Don't do your makeup if you don't want to. You are about to do something that takes incredible strength. It doesn't matter what you look like. You're a hero no matter what.
And if you don't want to do your makeup while you're in labor (I still don't understand how it doesn't get ruined immediately), but you still want a full beat face for the first photos you take with your kid, don't worry! There are makeup artists and hair stylists you can hire to do your "hospital makeover" after the birth. They'll glam you up good.
Me, personally? I won't be wearing makeup before, during, or after I give birth. In fact, I think I'll try to look as grotesque and awful as possible for pictures so, years later, when I'm sitting with my kid showing them pictures from the day they were born, I can point to my ugly face and say, "Look at this. This is what you did to me. You owe me. Forever."
But that's a personal preference!