The TIFU (Today I F---ed Up) subreddit is full of juicy tales of people dropping the ball in big, catastrophic ways. And this story, which involves a beyond clueless dad, a curious son, a classroom show-and-tell presentation, and a menstrual cup is no exception.
This dad is in charge of the house for a couple weeks while his wife is out of town for work. "Sometime over the weekend," he wrote, "I noticed my son playing with this little silicone cup that kinda looked like a tulip."
Dad had no idea what it was and asked the son to show him what it did. "Over the next few days," he wrote, "it helped the Paw Patrol save the town, it was a treasure chest holding tiny pebbles guarded by pirates, a force field protecting a space ship. It came with us to the park, grocery shopping, and even out to dinner one night." I think you can see where this is going.
Dad had no idea that this little tulip-shaped cup actually belonged to his wife. It is a menstrual cup, meant to catch blood when a person has their period. I know that. You know that. Dad 100 percent should have known that. Dudes, ladies, anyone: for the love of all that is holy, if your partner has a vagina, you should know what they stick up there. It's part of being a good partner.
But this poor clueless bloke had no idea that his wife used a menstrual cup. He had no idea what they looked like. He thought it was part of a toy set or something belonging to his son. So he let him take it to school for show and tell.
I know. I know! It's like a scene out a movie. The dramatic irony is palpable. When Dad picked his son up at the end of the school day, his teacher asked to speak with him. The teacher said, "Ben's show and tell was... interesting." The, clueless sad sack responded, "Yeah! It's cool, right? We've been playing with that thing for days."
"Uh, Mr. Scott, do you know what that is?" the teacher asks. This is where Mr. Scott starts to panic. He realizes it's not a toy just as the teacher tells him, "That is a, uh, menstrual cup." But now he's confused. So the teacher continues, "It's, um, used to collect menstrual blood... It uh, goes inside, and uh... collects blood."
This poor teacher. Mr. Scott is still confused because of the size and the shape of this cup. He can't fathom how the mechanics work. So now this teacher, after wrangling a class of small, crazy children all day, has to stand there in front of one of their students' fathers and explain how menstrual cups work. "Oh it folds in half then springs up inside..." they say, trailing off — because what else are they going to do?
He told his wife what happened, and she thought it was hysterical. They decided not to mention anything to their son, who was still playing with it, having a tea party, because why not? After several comments asking why on Earth this guy doesn't know what his wife uses during her menstrual cycle, he felt he had to clear some things up.
He claims he knows all about her cycle, even tracks it with her because they're trying to get pregnant at the moment. "I grew up with four sisters," he wrote, "and the only devices I was aware of for periods were to absorb the blood — not collect it. I was also confused by it 'fitting' because, like I said, this device helped save a Chickaletta over the weekend. I've seen a tampon — they're much slimmer than this cup is. My wife assures me it fits fine."
People took to the comments to share similar stories of times they misidentified things they were playing with as kids, and they are too funny. A boy in this commenter's son's first grade class was "selling telescopes for a nickel each, and sold out. Sadly, they were his mother's used tampon applicators." Ew!
"When we were little," another person wrote, "my brother and I found my dad's condoms and we spent an afternoon on the front lawn playing with them. 'Worst water balloons ever. And why are they individually wrapped?'"
"Amateurs," someone else wrote. "My little bro and I used maxi pads as neck braces."
This story is pretty funny. Let's not forget that not only did this guy's son bring the menstrual cup to class, but he was carrying it around in public all weekend! I can't imagine that he didn't get a bunch of strange looks that he just didn't register. So let this be a lesson to everyone with a partner who has a period: Know what they use and you will avoid this.