It can be difficult for some to walk that line between supporting one's children and giving them all of the tools that they need in order to be successful. And there's no clear-cut answer: different people respond to different types of encouragement and different situations in different ways.
Being an effective parent is being an effective teacher and to give your child the best chance at living a great life, then you're going to need to work your butt off to be fulfilled yourself, aka, leading by example and such. Just like any relationship, you'll need to know when to be immediately sympathetic, and other times when you have to show your sympathy in other ways: like preparing someone to have to fend for themselves.
That's the crux of a debate surrounding a now-viral TikTok where a mother had her 18-year-old daughter sign a lease to rent a room in the family home in order to continue living there.
In the clip, we can TikToker @c_d_g showing off the lease and then cutting to her daughter smiling while signing it.
The video begins with a stylized text overlay that reads: "It's life."
It then cuts to another text overlay that reads: "When your 18-year-old decides to stay at home" over a close-up of the rental agreement, before then cutting to her daughter looking at the paperwork with more text that says, "Teaching moment..." followed by "Setting up for success."
A caption for the video reads "Rent a room" and in the comments section of the clip, @c_d_g informed curious commenters that she was only charging her child $100 a month.
The clip inspired a variety of different responses. There were several commenters who said that their parents did the same exact thing and they resented them for it.
"my parents did this and we no longer talk! so good luck I guess"
"'Setting her up for success' bro you’re setting her up to never speak to you again"
"why do people think 18 is an adult we still kids bruh why we paying rent"
"My mom started making me pay rent the second I turned 18. I always said I will never do that to my kids. not cool."
"Yikes my parents did this to me and it only created trauma for me. Thankfully I make 8 figures and don’t have to struggle any longer."
"No way. My parenting and support doesn’t stop at 18. As long as they are in school or working, they can stay with us. Love isn’t with condition."
There were other commenters who chimed in and said that they agreed with the practice and they wish that their own parents did the same for them.
Others highlighted that many parents save the $100 a month of rent that their kids are paying them to only give to them later when they decide to move out to use as a down payment on a place of their own or for any major purchase that they want to make.
Some folks in the comments section responded by saying that their love and support for their children doesn't end when they turn 18 years old, adding that @c_d_g's decision to make her daughter sign a lease seems like a "conditional" form of love.
"My parenting and support also doesn’t stop at 18…and my love isn’t conditional. Setting my kids up to be successful when they move out is the point," she responded.
She also responded to further criticism saying that "unless ur saving that money to give them when they move out no way. I'd like to see an 18yr old have a job pays enough to live in this economy."
OP replied with: "Actually our other daughter who is almost 19 has her own place, works, and goes to college."
Contrasting opinions continued down the list of comments with some saying that she was setting up her child with "debt" from a young age and others thinking it was a smart move and that she was helping her child dip her toe into self-sufficiency on her own.
What do you think?