This is some family drama that seems like it's straight out of Succession. In an "Am I the A-hole?" post that was removed from Reddit but lives on on Twitter, OP explains that they "run quite a large family business (chain of fancy restaurants spread throughout the country) and an unspoken rule of our family is that prenups are a must."
OP's brother was in a relationship with his girlfriend for three years when they decided to get engaged. However, his fiancée refused to sign a prenup. OP claims that "this happens a lot" in their family and "it usually means the end for any relationship." I don't really understand what this means in terms of how many people they've proposed marriage to over the years. Makes it seem like a lot.
Anyway, OP's brother, even though he has apparently ended several other engagements over this, was "hesitant this time," presumably because he was actually in love. He wanted to marry this woman without the prenup.
That's when their father jumped in and told him he would be kicked out of the family business if he married her without a prenup. "We offered him either that or a really respectable sum of cash to stop the marriage," OP writes.
So, he took the cash and broke up with the woman. Now, the woman has called OP to say that they've "ruined 'the relationship of her life.'" OP wants to know if they were wrong to pay off their brother so he wouldn't marry this woman.
Told ya this is like something out of a prestige, HBO family drama. I, for one, think everyone sucks here! It's a spectacular failure of, like, being a human being with a soul to pay off a family member so they wouldn't marry the person they love.
However, it's a total breakdown in communication and respect on the brother's part for not being clear with this woman what was expected of her and what his priorities were. It sounds like he's been through this before. He should have made it very clear the second they got serious that he wouldn't get married without a prenup or at least that this would be a discussion down the line.
He's an adult here, too. He was ultimately the one who made the choice to take the money and break up with her. If he really loved her, he could have chosen to forsake the family business and marry her anyway. But his choice made it very clear that money mattered to him more than she did.
In that sense, it's a little unfair of the woman to blame OP instead of the man who made the choice to leave her, even if what OP did was true scumbag behavior. I'm sure, however, that she's got no shortage of blame to go around.
As for the commenters, some got caught up on the prenup bit, but others recognized that this whole family seems like trash. "Your family and you suck for getting involved in a relationship that is not your own and then offering money to get out of the relationship," one person wrote. "Your brother sucks for accepting that money, proving that he didn't really love his fiancée.
"And then she sucks for not going through with the prenup. Everyone just kinda sucks here but just in different degrees of suckage." It's a surprisingly tidy way to explain everything. I suppose if the woman really just wanted to be with him because she loved him, she would have signed the prenup even if it rubbed her the wrong way, understanding that people with large businesses require them sometimes.
Sounds like all of this pair's values and priorities were at odds with each other the entire time. Either that or they were too aligned; both put the financial aspect of marriage first, after all. And to be honest, I'm kind of glad they didn't end up getting married. It doesn't seem like it would have worked out.