Two Men From Los Angeles Tested Their Swimmers in a Very Public Sperm Race — This Is Not a Joke

It's a truth universally known that the human brain loves a good competition ... and a bad one. We are a tribal bunch, which is why rooting for one's favorite sports team can easily become a religious experience. Once upon a time, we were raised by villages, and as the world has drifted apart, new ways to come together have emerged. This is one of the reasons soccer is popular on a global scale. It's nice to find like-minded people who want to cheer on the same team as you.

Not all competitive events are huge and all-encompassing. In fact, some are quite niche. For example, did you know that Finland started a wife-carrying sport in 1992 that expanded into North America seven years later? It's exactly how it sounds, so if you're legally married, this could be a new bonding experience for you and your spouse. Speaking of odd races, more than 30 years later, Los Angeles held its first-ever sperm race. Here's what we awkwardly know.

The first ever sperm race was held on April 25, 2025, in Los Angeles, and was available to stream (not a pun) online. A promo for the event was shared on its Instagram, and described it as a fight to the fertile, not death, between USC and UCLA. "This the world's first ever sperm race," promised the ad. A young man named Tristan was representing USC, while another fella named Asher was letting it all hang out for UCLA. These are "two legends" on one "microscopic racetrack."

The two were battling to see who had the healthiest, fastest, and, we regret to inform you, tastiest sperm. We're pretty sure that last one is a joke, as the real reason for the event was to raise awareness about men's health. It was created by 17-year-old Eric Zhu, who hails from the Bay Area. He told ABC 7, "The general public doesn't talk about it, because it's so taboo." He went on to say that male fertility is often associated with adult entertainment. Eric wanted to change that.

The sperm race was part advocacy, part science experiment, because the contenders actually had to train for the event. Dozens of men applied, but Tristan and Asher must have been the cream of the crop. Those two were hand-picked by Eric and his team, who gave the competitors a sperm analysis kit. It measured concentration, motility, progressive motility, motile sperm concentration, and progressive motile sperm concentration.

Although this is very weird and clearly fun, the sperm racing website dropped some pretty important facts in its manifesto. Between 1973 and 2018, male fertility declined by about 50 percent. "It's happening quietly, steadily, and nobody's really talking about it," per the website. Believe it or not, it's possible to improve sperm motility, which is how fast sperm moves. Faster sperm makes for better fertility. Turning this into a sport helps get the conversation going.

The sperm racing team "designed a microscopic racetrack that mimics the reproductive system — chemical signals, fluid dynamics, synchronized starts." Using high-resolution cameras, Eric and his team tracked every move and put the results up on a leaderboard. Whoever finishes first wins. By the way, USC's Tristan won, and Ty Dolla $ign performed at the event. Sounds like the whole thing went swimmingly.