What Is the Bird Theory Couple Test Taking Over TikTok? Inside the Relationship Trend

As with most observances and takes on modern relationships, many gain initial traction on social media. Such is the case with a viral trend to determine relationship stability based on actual expert measures, but the Bird Theory Test has gone viral for couples, and the results can be found all over TikTok.

So, is this test something that you should apply to your relationship to find out if your union is healthy? Or is it just another social media talking point? Let’s dive in.

In its viral sense, the Bird Theory Test is when one person points out to their significant other that they saw a bird, and that person’s reaction is said to be able to determine how healthy the relationship is.

If the person engages after their partner points out a bird by appearing enthusiastic and asking questions, that’s a good sign. However, if they prove to be dismissive and uninterested, trouble could be ahead for the relationship.

The trend initially emerged on TikTok back in 2023 and quickly made the rounds throughout social media. Although, as with most viral trends, the bird test topic came back around, and a new crop of couples are testing their compatibility because of it.

As part of his research to determine if a couple will get divorced before it actually happens, psychologist Dr. John Gottman conducted a test called “Turning Toward Instead of Away,” to determine the bids for connection between couples, according to the Gottman Institute.

The test was originally given to a group of newlyweds whom he followed up with six years after they were married to determine the results, and the results evolved into the test.

Per Dr. Gottman, a bid “is any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection,” according to the Institute.

“Bids show up in simple ways, a smile or wink, and more complex ways, like a request for advice or help. In general, women make more bids than men, but in the healthiest relationships, both partners are comfortable making all kinds of bids,” the description reads.

Per the Gottman Institute, missing a bid for connection is “turning away,” and can be “even more devastating than ‘turning against’ or rejecting the bid. Missing the bid results in diminished bids, or worse, making bids for attention, enjoyment, and affection somewhere else.”

Meanwhile, the act of “turning toward” starts with paying attention to your partner and their bids for connection.

“If you pay attention, you’ll respond to both the text and the subtext,” the organization shares. “As bids get more complicated, so will the nature of turning toward. Start simple [and] take an inventory of the bids and turning in your relationship and share your responses with one another.”