Something that has brought me endless joy is teasing my own mother about her veneers. To be clear, they look great. I'm not lightly roasting her about some chompers gone wrong. I actually like to bring up the fact that beneath her veneers, she has tiny teeth like a cat. It's true. In order to drill them into her gums, my mother's actual teeth were filed down. She has the mouth of a little creature in a low-budget horror film. It's great!
She recently bit into something hard which caused one veneer to snap right off like a popcorn kernel leaping into its final form. I glanced down at the dining room table where we were sharing a meal, and gleefully looked up to see if it came off a front-facing tooth. It did. With a sly gleam in my eye, I demanded to see the cat tooth. All this to say, I know how one TikToker feels when she says celebrities have gone too far with their veneers. It's a shiny, block-shaped epidemic.
The veneers have gone too ve-far! Does this joke make sense?
Jules, who goes by (@juulessssssssssssss) on TikTok, is tired of celebrities with veneers. By the way, that's tough talk coming from someone who inexplicably has 14 letter S's in her TikTok handle, but I digress.
"Someone needs to tell the celebrities that veneers do not look good," pleads Jules from inside her car. It should be noted that Jules appears to have very nice teeth. The imperfect teeth she longs to see on the big screen, aren't staring back at her when she looks in the mirror.
What I find to be the most fascinating part of this rant is the fact that in Jules's mind, an indication that veneers have gotten out of hand is their presence in the influencer community. Influencers are infamously willing to do whatever it takes to get a free trip or product. I doubt they are suddenly precious about their teeth.
Would it surprise anyone to stumble across a TikTok of an influencer actually filming their own teeth being filed down to the stuff one usually relegates to nightmares? If that gets them more followers, of course they would do that!
Jules's next argument against veneers is the claim that natural teeth look better. One could make that argument for something as extreme as plastic surgery, all the way down to makeup. We've already established that we live in a world where natural isn't necessarily what people want.
There is something Jules and I can both agree on. Teeth were never meant to be blindingly white. According to Superb Dental Care out of Pasadena, Calif., a place undoubtedly riddled with veneers, most teeth are a reddish brown color. They don't mean a true reddish brown but rather, a teeth version of that.
Jules goes on to say that another issue with veneers is that they're straight across, which creates a straight line. Real teeth come in various sizes that are subtle, but the overall effect is more like a bumpy road.
What Jules would prefer to see is veneers being used exclusively on "old people," which are her words. I think she is actually referring to dentures. Veneers are contingent upon the existence of teeth. As we age, we tend to lose our teeth so this wouldn't work.
I'm of the mind that Jules is struggling with the concept of an uncanny valley. I believe she is very put off by the fact that veneers make their owner look fake but still quite humanlike. Our brains simply can't handle it. Someone smiling with a full set of veneers looks like a robot. They aren't real. I know people say eyes are the windows to the soul but I think it's the mouth. If I can't read someone's lips, I'm not going beyond that.