Woody Allen Compared Dinners at Jeffrey Epstein's to Being at Dracula's Castle

What about Jeffrey Epstein made so many people want to write weird letters to him?

In July 2025, The Wall Street Journal reported on a 2003 birthday album that co-abuser Ghislaine Maxwell put together for the financier's 50th birthday.

The leather-bound gift included dozens of letters written to Epstein from friends and famous folks alike.

Folks like billionaire Leslie Wexner and attorney Alan Dershowitz really got into it, but no one made a strange splash quite like Donald Trump allegedly did.

His letter reportedly included a bizarre, scripted fictional exchange between him and Epstein, along with a scribble of a naked woman. Trump signed his name where her pubic hair would be.

In 2016, Epstein was celebrating another birthday, and with it, more weird notes, including one from Woody Allen. Here's what we know.

Epstein turned 63 in January 2016, and numerous friends sent him complimentary letters to celebrate the financier, per The New York Times.

Allen and his wife/adopted daughter Soon-Yi were Epstein's neighbors and, according to a typed letter the director wrote, were frequent dinner guests.

Allen wrote that they always accepted Epstein's invitation because he knew the guest list would be endlessly fascinating. It was usually comprised of politicians, scientists, teachers, magicians, comedians, intellectuals, journalists, an occasional entomologist, and perhaps even a concert pianist.

"It's always interesting and the food is sumptuous and abundant," said Allen.

The director then contradicts himself by describing the first time he and Soon-Yi had dinner at Epstein's mansion. They were invited along with many "accomplished types" who were "ushered up to the living room before dinner."

Everyone was chatting, but no one was offered a drink unless they asked for one. "That should have been the first clue," Allen wrote. After that, things got cheaper.

Allen described the first meal as "meager" and said Soon-Yi was grumbling next to him the entire time.

"Is this all we're getting?" she repeatedly asked those around them. "After I leave, I may have to go to a restaurant," she said. The next time they were invited, Soon-Yi asked point-blank if there was going to be more food this time.

Epstein ordered Chinese takeout from a local restaurant and had it placed on a table, buffet-style.

"It all seemed odd for a man of substance who entertained many illustrious guests often," mused Allen. Soon-Yi took it upon herself to gently guide Epstein to better dinner parties.

She told him the appetizers should come before the main dish, and suggested a bouquet of flowers for the table.

The most interesting part of the letter is in Allen's description of how Epstein's home feels.

Later, when the dinners became more lavish, Allen noted that they were always well-served, either by professional housemen or "several young women."

It reminded the director of Dracula's castle. In Bram Stoker's novel, Count Dracula had three vampiric wives who lived and fed in his castle. Of course, Allen referenced the Bela Lugosi film.

Allen said he could easily picture Epstein sleeping in damp earth.