This 'Luxury' Island Festival Has Devolved Into A Real Life Lord Of The Flies
By Mustafa GatollariSometimes when social elitism and technology come together, it yields disastrous results. Like the $1,000 "I Am Rich" iPhone app that basically just put an icon on your iPhone that let the world knew you were an idiot for dropping a grand on a little jpeg.
But there's an even bigger failure that melds the use of our modern consumer technology with people's desires to live extravagant lifestyles.
And that is the train wreck that is the Fyre Festival. Twitter user Iron Spike breaks down the madness that was supposed to be a "premium" party experience.
I just Googled"Fyre Festival" and I can't stop fucking laughing.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Oh, Jesus. If you live for train wrecks, STRAP THE FUCK IN.
So, this is Fyre Festival. https://t.co/NSYIj9yRME
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
I'll give you a minute to drink all that douchewater in.
An "exclusive," "luxury" music festival with tickets starting at $450 for out-by-nightfall day passes and +$12,000 deluxe packages.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Yeah.
Held in Exumas cay in the Bahamas, That 12k gets you a "rustic," furnished glamping tent with 2 king-sized beds, plus 4 festival passes.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Of course, upgrades were available, including catering, special events, and VIP passes. (No, that base 12k doesn't get you VIP access.)
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Participating bands included Blink 182, Tyga and Migos. Planned activities included yoga, massages, and rentable yachts (starting at $60k).
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
(At this point I'm totally willing to admit I am Old and haven't heard of most of these acts. But... $12k to see Blink 182? Rly? Srsly.) pic.twitter.com/SEMXXdQEQp
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
ANYWAY.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
This festival was apparently advertised extensively on Instagram, playing up the glamour and "lifestyle"angle of the event.
Sounds like a wealthy partygoer's paradise, right?
It was going to be held on a private island "once owned by Pablo Escobar." it would feature supermodels hanging out to chat with.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Over $100,000 in "treasure" would be hidden around the island for a fun, rick-kid treasure hunt. Kendall Jenner was promoting it.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
You get the idea. Exclusivity, conspicuous consumption, & many, MANY promises of excellent selfies for your already-insufferable Instagram.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
But there were signs well before the truth came out that this party wasn't what it seemed.
But even before launch, rumors began circulating Fyre Festival was NOT what it seemed, despite celeb organizer's Ja Rule's excited tweets.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Private island? No, it was going to be held on or near a Sandals, on a large island. (A chain resort for us scum, in other words.)
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
So popular tickets were selling out? Noooo, they would announce being sold out, then mysteriously reappear for sale repeatedly.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Cool acts on the main stage? No, the line-up was constantly shifting; even now, on festival day, the site features TBD performing slots.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
And rumors infrastructure labor was going unpaid, with the festival reportedly selling so few tickets that loans were necessary for set-up.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Whistle-blowing began in March, but the festival moved ahead regardless,and attendees began to arrive the 27th.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Here's what they found.
Then once people started arriving, the truth came out: the Fyre Festival was actually a Dumpster Fyre.
The "luxury" glamping tents are leftover disaster relief tents from USAid. https://t.co/gFsgUWNdP5
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
That's right, the "luxury" cabanas guests paid thousands of dollars to stay in were relief tents, you know, the ones used for refugees?
In case you're wondering, those "cabanas" are actually disaster relief tents.#fyrefestival pic.twitter.com/jaZpkIKVT2
— Matt Halfhill (@MattHalfhill) April 28, 2017
The food situation was equally bad. This was what you got for paying extra for a catered "meal."
The "catering" (which cost extra) was a slice of untoasted bread, two slices prepackaged cheese, and a side salad. pic.twitter.com/BoKxWAMI5i
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
It was obvious to everyone who showed up that this thing was doomed from the start.
The infrastructure was nonexistent, and the festival staff either a skeleton crew or MIA. pic.twitter.com/8Gh6NevsFI
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
The "luxury" amenities are basic, unstaffed, and unstocked. https://t.co/taEhxbRonH
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Festival -goers were horrified by what they found when they came to the island.
And festival-goers are reporting feral dogs, cancelled flights, and other attendees starting fights with locals.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
It became a full-blow disaster.
It's so bad, SO FUCKIN' BAD, that the US Embassy in The Bahamas is now intervening in an attempt to get people home immediately.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
All flights into the cay have been cancelled by Bahamian authorities. Attendee @WNFIV 's timeline is chronicling this disaster in real time.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
.@WNFIV So to recap? Some Instagram kids just paid between $450 & +$12k... to be stranded... in a tropical tent city. Cuz some models told them to.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
.@WNFIV DashCon: I can't believe I fucked up this bad. No one will ever outdo this. Ever. I'm the worst of all time.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) April 28, 2017
Fyre Festival: Hold my beer.
The Fyre Festival stories on social media are just sad. As one Twitter user put, it's "like watching dreams die in vertical video." I can't think of any way to put it any better.
Check @Snapchat's Search for "Fyre" if you feel like watching dreams die in vertical video #fyrefestival pic.twitter.com/UX8MClcYrx
— Kevin Frankenfeld (@kpf) April 28, 2017
While on the island, partygoers found a notebook which revealed that Fyre Festival was pretty much doomed from the start.
Also, we found a notebook from one of the Fyre Fest planners on the ground. It is amazing. #fyrefestival #fyre pic.twitter.com/jFib0nO2RW
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
Pages from the book prove that two weeks before the festival, permits weren't set and most preliminary work wasn't done.
The Notebook: Fyre Festival edition. pic.twitter.com/gjUvDvUKhW
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
It looks like it was all being developed by one Tom Haverford-esque dude who had delusions of grandeur but zero know-how.
Fyre Festival's twitter account shows just how much of a crapshoot the entire event was.
We're currently working through the unexpected start to #FyreFestival. Thank u for bearing with us as we attempt to accommodate guest needs
— Fyre Festival (@fyrefestival) April 28, 2017
Within a span of 5 hours the festival planner(s) went from, "we're gonna fix it" to "we've got to cancel and refund everyone."
GUEST ON SITE: Working to comfortably accommodate needs. If you need, please head to main site/blue house. Security, first aid, + staff 24/7
— Fyre Festival (@fyrefestival) April 28, 2017
GUEST W/ PENDING TRAVEL
— Fyre Festival (@fyrefestival) April 28, 2017
Due to circumstances beyond our control, inbound flights have been canceled. We're working to refund your ticket
We will provide regular updates and news via email to guest and our official social media channels as they come
— Fyre Festival (@fyrefestival) April 28, 2017
Due to unforeseen and extenuating circumstances, Fyre Festival has been fully postponed (con't)
— Fyre Festival (@fyrefestival) April 28, 2017
After assessing the situation this morning and looking at best options for our guests, we cannot move forward as we hoped we could (con't)
— Fyre Festival (@fyrefestival) April 28, 2017
At this time, we are working tirelessly to get flights scheduled and get all travelers home safely
— Fyre Festival (@fyrefestival) April 28, 2017
I just feel bad for the poor kids who wanted to be a part of something cool and blew all their time and savings on what ended up being a disaster.
But it's hard to be too sympathetic.
Life comes at you fast pic.twitter.com/eqbZiLZJKj
— HAUNTED APPLEBEE'S (@dubsteppenwolf) April 28, 2017
Lol.
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