Portland-based blogger Toni Hammer is going viral for sharing a controversial list of rules for her daughter that have kicked up a lot of discussion online.
Most kids would probably scoff at a do's and don'ts list from their mom, but this is one that we could all use:
Hammer's post reads:
To my daughter,
Don't apologize when someone else bumps into you.
Don't say "sorry to be such a pain." You're not a pain. You're a person with thoughts and feelings who deserves respect.
Don't make up reasons as to why you can't go out with a guy you don't wanna go out with. You don't owe anyone an explanation. A simple "no thanks" should be acceptable.
Don't overthink what you eat in front of people. If you're hungry, eat, and eat what you want. If you want pizza, don't get a salad just because other people are around. Order the damn pizza.
Don't keep your hair long to make someone else happy.
Don't wear a dress if you don't want to.Don't stay home because you don't have anyone to go out with. Take yourself out. Have experiences by yourself and for yourself.
Don't hold back your tears. Crying means you're feeling something that needs to get out. It's not a weakness. It's being human.
Don't smile because someone told you to.
Don't be afraid to laugh at your own jokes.Don't say "yes" to be polite. Say "no" because it's your life.
Don't hide your opinions. Speak up and speak loudly. You should be heard.
Don't apologize for being who you are. Be brave and bold and beautiful. Be unapologetically you.
Responses are mixed:
Hammer's points read to me like someone who doesn't want their kid to constantly apologize just for existing, as many women are socialized to do. But there is always room for being polite. Do you think her suggestions go too far?