There's plenty of interesting things you can buy on Amazon. But perhaps the most interesting items are the thousands of gag gifts available. Yes, you can buy liquid ass spray if you wanted to. Which is a spray that smells like "ass," if you were unclear on that.
Surprisingly for something that smells like the wrong end of Satan, liquid ass spray has four and a half stars, with nearly 4,000 reviews.
One reviewer, Kay, decided to use the stuff for a prank on her boyfriend, and it got pretty intense. Thankfully for us, she wrote the whole thing down...
"This stuff litterally smells like ass. Bad Ass. Horrible Ass. You need to go to the doctor Ass. Tried it out last night on my boyfriend. Here is a summary of my night:"
"5pm: Boyfriend on laptop in livingroom. He had been there for hours, so I decided it was time for him to get up."
"5:05pm: Sprayed Liquid Ass three times on a sweater in the other room, then nonchalantly dropped it in the livingroom, about ten feet away from the boyfriend,"
"5:06pm: Boyfriend asks if I forgot to turn the bathroom fan on."
"5:08pm: Boyfriend comments on how stinky the cats poop is."
"5:15pm: Boyfriend, with his shirt covering his nose, scoops all three cat boxes in hopes of eliminating the wretched stench."
"5:45pm: Boyfriend goes on a mad hunt, insisting that the cats must have crapped somewhere in the house. By this time, the smell has engulfed the apartment (a small two bedroom.) He picks up every piece of laundry on the floor, throws the bathroom mats in the washing machine and finds a face mask and gloves to put on. (I am a nurse and keep some supplies at home.)"
"6:25pm: Boyfriend becomes convinced the cats must have stepped in poo and tracked it all over the house. After smelling all four of the cats, he decides the cats must have cleaned themselves by now, At this point, after seeing all of the good this spray had done, I sprayed it thrice more; once in each bedroom and once in the livingroom."
"6:30pm: Boyfriend sweeps and mops all of the tiled floors, sprinkles baking soda over the carpet and vacuums the entire place. Durring this time, I make sure my bottle is hidden really well. I can't afford to get caught on this one."
"7:30pm: Boyfriend becomes convinced there must be spoiled food somewhere. He takes out the trash and loads the dishwasher."
"11pm: While finishing up the laundry, Boyfriend discovered the sweater. He decides the cat must have wiped his paws on it and says we need to make an appointment with the vet because the smell is concerning."
"I will be using this spray about once a month for the rest of my life. Thank you, Liquid Ass. Thank you."
Well, that worked out better than expected. The rest of the reviews are just as good, if you needed any further reassurance.
Another user decided to get some revenge on her husband, writing:
"For a little revenge while my husband was busy in the shower getting ready for work, I poured the whole bottle of Liquid Ass on the backseat carpet in his car."
"I thought maybe it wouldn't work as well because I didn't spray it. Oh.My.God. When he was pulling out of the garage I was up in our bedroom. All of a sudden, I heard retching. I peeked out the bedroom window to see him in the driveway with all the car doors open."
"He was looking in the back, then in the front, then the back again, under the car, pulling out the mats and smelling them. All the time with a seriously perplexed look on his face. After about 5 minutes of this he got in and drove to work. I have no idea how he managed to drive the 30 minutes to work in that car!! When he got to work I received a text from him. It speaks for itself. Heh...heh.."
She also shared the text exchange that happened next...
Here are a few other highlights...
Get this stuff now.