Imgur user RowdyMcMenace unleashed the menace on herself with a free carpet sample scam she documented for all our amusement.
She writes in the first panel of her story, "It started off innocently enough. I stumbled across this cool feature on Amazon to get free fabric and carpet swatches and thought "these would make a neat cat scratcher and they're free so..."
Why not make a DIY cat scratcher? All you need is a a stump and something the cat will enjoy scratching. In my experience, cats like scratching my couch. But it wasn't a perfect system.
"The first bundle arrived and it was a good amount but I realized not all of the textures were gonna be good so I ordered more," she writes.
But things started to pile up.
"A LOT MORE!!! HOLY SH!T"
Somehow, Ms. McMenace didn't realize exactly what the repercussions of this fabric experiment would be.
"I am on night shift so I was woken up to this. The delivery guy is not happy. I swear I didn't realize I ordered this many and I thought they were all going to be small!!," she writes. Can you imagine how mad the post office is about this?
"They are not small. At this point I'm panicking and my boyfriend stepped in to get them all unwrapped. The cats are super interested and I'm laughing hysterically out of nervousness that my future husband might realize I'm a psychopath and leave me."
Carpet sample hoarding could be grounds for divorce.
But her fiancé sat down and helped her open all these ridiculous packages and it seems she didn't quite learn her lesson. She wants other people to do this!
"Oh man you guys I've really abused the system here. Let me know if you want me to show you how to abuse the system too! I'm an enabler, and it'll make me feel better."
No, don't! Consider the post office!
She says, "I only hope the warehouse guys have dealt with my level of stupidity before because this tops the charts."
Why would you wish that on them?
Also, why haven't you thrown some of these out?
On the bright side, the cats are happy.
"We have halted progress now that all the big ones are open. I regret nothing. 10/10 recommend Kitty thrones," she concludes. I guess things don't always go viral because we learn a useful lesson from them.
Maybe consider not turning the local post office against you. If you want to give your pets something to destroy, you can always buy (or make!) them more toys.
But if this is something you want to do, she outlined how in another post.
"Step 1: be a prime member or mooch an account. Then go to the department selection on the home page."
"Step 2: scroll down to home, open the submenu, and click on furniture."
"Step 3: scroll almost all the way down until you see this unicorn of free magic and click it so hard!
"Step ilostcountalready: filter your results. Or don't. I clearly didn't. Pick something expensive that you want a piece of and open it."
"See that colorful sentence that says "order a FREE Swatch"? You know what to do. Push it real good."
Her last piece of advice?