Do you remember when you figured out the Tooth Fairy wasn't real? I'm sorry if it just happened when you read that opening sentence. It's true, the Tooth Fairy isn't real. It's just a fun way for adults to buy children's teeth. Being a parent is hard, you gotta get your kicks where you can. Like these parents who used the tooth fairy to teach their son a lesson about dental hygiene — and actually withheld payment until his next tooth fell out in better "condition."
But then you have kids who like to ruin all the fun by being too smart for their own good. Twitter user @RogueDadMD announced to his followers that his 9-year-old son had ruined his fun by figuring out the lie through some incredible deductive reasoning:
Just learned our 9y/o did an experiment on us. Lost tooth, told no one for 3d, kept tooth under his pillow. No $. Then he tells us he lost the tooth, next night there is money under his pillow. Then confronted us with his scientific evidence that the tooth fairy isn't real.— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 23, 2018
This kid is a little Sherlock Holmes, but for dentistry.
Some people wanted to know why they didn't cover their lie with more lies, but they cracked under pressure:
And you didn’t point out that the tooth fairy isn’t psychic and needs to be informed by a parent or guardian about the tooth loss?— My name is Declan (@DeclanChellar) April 24, 2018
Blame my wife who gave up the game when I wasn’t there :)— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 24, 2018
And a few people had questions about how the kid got away with this tooth hiding:
That’s cool. Smart kid.— Nick Thompson (@VeblensBeard1) April 24, 2018
Question though: you’re an MD and you didn’t notice your kid was missing a tooth for 3 days?
I'm a parent with 3 young boys, as long as no one is screaming and bleeding from the mouth I don't do daily tooth counts— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 24, 2018
There's other tests ahead for our detective. For example, can he keep a secret?
He’s been tasked with not blowing the secret for his younger brothers. We will see what he can do— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 24, 2018
Let him be the tooth fairy for his brothers. Then he'll never tell.— TraumaEnvyRN (@alflannery) April 24, 2018
Good idea. Not sure he’s sneaky enough. Need some test runs.— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 24, 2018
Naturally, the kid has already made some mental leaps with this discovery:
Oh man I have bad news for you because this is roughly how I trapped my parents about Santa Claus and I am still an atheist with trust issues.— Jacqueline Coleman (@colemanjackie) April 23, 2018
He already told my wife he has plans to decide if the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are real, so definitely major problems coming! On a semi-serious note, I've always wondered if believing in Santa etc as kids leads people to doubt the existence of God later— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 23, 2018
Whoa, this is getting deep. And an interesting study into "ruining stuff" traditions:
Ha! I’m Muslim and never believed in Santa. In fact, the first and only time I got called to the principal’s office was because I told my Christian classmates he wasn’t real in the first grade. I still believe in God though!— Sarah Ismail (@SarahIsmailMPH) April 24, 2018
I grew up in 100% Muslim home, didn't celebrate any Christian holidays, but tooth fairy did visit us and Halloween was a must. My wife is Christian so my kids get visits from the creatures that hated me— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 24, 2018
There were a few people who disagreed with the kid's scientific methods. They didn't go far enough:
yeah my only critique would be that he should've done it for a few teeth to see if his results held! But what kid can delay gratification? I'm 33 and I barely can. Clearly your son is a natural scientist!— MartaAH (@Mammondy) April 24, 2018
teach him about sample size :P— Andrew Cassidy (@AndrewNCassidy) April 24, 2018
I’ve got a lot of training in stats. I’ll start with causation isn’t correlation, move onto mythical being Kaplan Meier curves next— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 24, 2018
Now you get to explain Schrodinger's Tooth and waveform collapse by external observation. Even if you tell the complete truth he won't ever believe you.— Tom Forsyth (@tom_forsyth) April 24, 2018
Then someone pointed out this is exactly what scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson encouraged his kid to do to uncover the mystery of the Tooth Fairy—test your subjects.
A deduction worthy of a world-renowned scientist. But you forgot one thing kid.
Now that you know there's no Tooth Fairy, you don't get the $$$.
A real genius would have kept milking his parents for cash until all their baby teeth were good and gone.