Old people and Jimmy Buffett go together like Jimmy Buffett fans and all-inclusive beach resort vacations. Or Jimmy Buffett fans and Acapulco shirts. Or Jimmy Buffett fans and anything Margaritaville.
The easy-living, beach-loving lifestyle has a certain appeal to retirees who've put up with their fair amount of crap in life and just want to take it easy, and it only makes sense that they'd be obsessed with Jimmy Buffett, as he's pretty much the patron saint of piña colada songs that are actually about cheating on your spouse but discovering they were trying to cheat on you too, so it's all just big HA-HA good time.
And in what happens to be the most brilliant business move I've seen in a very long time, Jimmy Buffett has announced that he's going to open a line of Margaritaville-inspired retirement homes so party-loving senior citizens can play out the rest of their golden years literally living in a Jimmy Buffett song.
The homes are called Latitude Margaritaville and the first crop of retirement communities will be based in — where else? Florida.
So far, Buffett and Co. have Daytona Beach, Hilton Head, and Watersound locations on deck, and the communities' website is packed with stunning images that'll have you counting down the days till you can cash out your pension and relax on a beach, waiting to die with a drink in your hand, a smile on your face, and beautiful scenery to soak in.
The pitch on the community's website sure sounds enticing, and it's pretty much all the coercion any Buffett-Head will need to immediately sign on the dotted line.
"It’s always been that happy place in your mind, the spirit of adventure in your soul. It’s the state of mind when it all comes together in one of life’s perfect moments. When your mind wanders to this paradise, why not follow it home?"
And judging by the photos and renderings of this retirement community, it definitely looks like the kind of place that self-proclaimed "Parrotheads" would love to kick back and relax in.
This particular location isn't situated on a beachfront, but it's been set up so that nearly every home in it has a view of blue water. Pretty magical.
The sales center is a good indication of what these units are going to look like inside.
Seriously, just by looking at these pictures you're going to feel like the Buff-Man himself came and punched you in the face while handing you a piña colada.
I mean, it just doesn't get any more Jimmy Buffett-ey than this. You can almost hear the oxygen masks and quiet murmurs of "this is real music" while looking at these photos.
The same aesthetic carries into the individual units that boast island-getaway-themed names like Jamaica, Antigua, Barbuda, Nevis, Coconut, Parrot, Breeze, Aruba and Trinidad. The Jamaica home pictured below also packs a swimming pool and hot tub inside a sunroom, in case you want to soak up some rays off the sand.
Now, I haven't found anything that confirms this in the literature, but judging from the promo photos, it appears that every single room comes complete with a margarita that magically spawns out of nowhere. Pretty sick.
What's even crazier is that each development will get occasional performances from Jimmy himself on the community's band stage. They've seriously thought of everything.
And although the concept of Latitude Margaritaville sounds like the premise for an epic comedy sketch, it's just another instance of great ideas from the king of laid-back tropical-themed chill music.
The fact that Escape to Margaritaville was made into a Broadway musical is yet another genius business move.
Think about it: You're an older-than-middle-aged couple with some disposable income and you want something to do on your date night. Maybe you live in Northern New Jersey. You want to go see a Broadway musical, but your kids have made you sick of everything Disney by the time you hit 40, so that's out of the question. That's when you actually take your neighbor Tina's advice for once, and remember how she gushed about the amazing time she had watching the Jimmy Buffett musical with Francis last weekend.
Buffett's laid-back way of life is also an official school of thought. No, literally, there's a Margaritaville University.
Technically, it's just an excuse to get a bunch of students to party, but the website shows that it's pretty serious about getting the "Margaritaville" mindset into as many college campuses as possible.
Buffett's become so successful on selling people 'the idea of Jimmy Buffett' that he inevitably hasn't lived the lifestyle he preaches for a while. A fact that the New York Times pointed out in this piece on the singer.
If you feel like living the Margaritaville-lifestyle without enrolling in school or buying a place in a senior home, and Jimmy Buffett concerts aren't enough for you, you could, of course, always book a few nights in a Margaritaville resort.
Locations are opening everywhere, and not just on sunny beaches. There's one coming to NYC, which will be interesting to see, to say the least.
Buffett's turned the beach bum lifestyle into a profitable business, and it's not difficult to see why that wasn't hard: Who doesn't want to day-drink on a beach whenever they feel like it and shirk their uncomfortable daily responsibilities?
More from Distractify
More From Distractify
Entertainment Entertainment Entertainment Entertainment