Mother-in-laws don't have the best reputations — to put it mildly. Whether on the small screen (we're looking at you, Cersei Lannister) or IRL, MILs seem to be the hardest person to please in any family. However, if you are lucky enough to get along with your significant other's mother, count your blessings.
And if you think your mother (monster)-in-law is bad, these horror stories might have you changing your mind. Seriously, unless your MIL literally ruined your wedding or completely rearranged your entire home while you were on vacation, you have nothing to complain about. So, go hug your MIL — even if she is prone to giving you unsolicited advice or judging everything you do. Trust us.
1. The aspiring interior designer MIL.
My now ex-husband and I went to the other side of the country for three weeks holiday. We left his parents our key so they could feed fish, water plants, etc. We got back after a long flight and drive home at 2 a.m. in the morning. Having been away, I just wanted to feel at home and crawl in to my own bed. When we opened the front door, I just dropped my luggage and turned to my partner and said "what the &#^$??" Our lounge room had been totally rearranged. Everything moved around. Then I walked through to the kitchen/dinning room. There was a dining room table from their house set up that we had repeatedly told her we didn't want. I was blowing up at this stage. I was so angry. Then I went to our bedroom. It too had been rearranged! I was livid.
So here we were at 2 a.m. rearranging our whole house back around to how we wanted it. That was not the worst part. I cannot stress enough when I say that we went on to find that EVERY SINGLE shelf, cupboard and [drawer] in the house had been gone through and reorganized. The kitchen, everything in different [drawers]. The bathroom, everything moved around and parts of it painted! Even our [drawers] in the bedroom had been done. My underwear folded and put in a different place. Even our sex toys had been moved. So it took days for me to put everything back. It was so stressful and totally ruined what had been a great holiday. In the coming days neither of us could find anything. I just kept finding more things moved. Our linen closet rearranged. Our laundry done. Garage done. My car had even been cleaned and my glovebox cleaned out. I finally laughed when my partner went to have a pipe and she had even scrubbed his pipe back to shinning new.
2. Take the microphone away now.
My ex-MIL compared me to the family dog during her wedding speech. She said "well now that catastrophization [sic] is my DIL, I can just snap my fingers and both her and the dog will come running!" Cue 10 seconds of horrifying silence... She came to hug me after her speech and stated gleefully, "You didn't think that was too much, did you?" No, *#&#(. It was fabulous. @&#^ you.
3. How much?!
My MIL is obsessed with having grandkids, and is in complete denial that my husband and I aren't planning on having any. Last time she visited, she stole one of my birth control pills, I guess thinking that I wouldn't notice. And he's not even her only kid! He's just the only boy so his sister's kids wouldn't matter. She recently said she'd pay me $30,000 to have a kid. I say raise it to $100,000 and get back to me.
4. The pettiest of the petty MILs.
Future mother-in -law said that because I purchased parmesan cheese I wasn't good with money and shouldn't marry her daughter.
My ex mother-in-law called me by her other son's ex-wife's name for the first three years I was married to her younger son.
Last week my mother-in-law counted my grey hairs "one, two, three, four." Are you counting my grey hair! "I know I'm being [crappy], huh ... oh there's another one."
5. So much shade.
I went to the ballet the other night to see The Nutcracker with my MIL.This conversation ensued:
MIL: Aren't the ballerinas lovely?
ME: Yes they are.
MIL: Were you in ballet?
ME: No, unfortunately I was not.
MIL: Yes that sounds right.
I pause. Say nothing. 'What does that mean?' I'm thinking.
MIL: They take really good care of their bodies.
6. Let her eat cake — sike!
My MIL wrote her son a letter a week before we got married telling him to think very carefully about what he was doing, as he needed to be sure he was marrying someone he loved and trusted. (We had been together for 6 very happy years at this point! )
She later walked out of our wedding in tears, drove home (7 hours away!) without saying anything to anyone and then followed that up by emailing me saying she didn't know what husband (her son) saw in me.
I refused to have anything to do with her until she apologized to me, it was a lovely year of no contact with her at all. But then I got pregnant and she came crawling back. We have built a relationship of sorts now, though I feel on her part she still hates me but doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize the detente we've reached in case we don't let her see our daughter any more. (Which I would never do, I want my baby to love her granny even if I think she's the devil incarnate)
I still don't let her babysit though.
And whenever we invite her over for dinner she texts me a list of what she wants to eat, like "See you at 5, I want soup and homemade cake."
I refuse on principle to have her dictate what I make so I just ignore it. Even if I'd planned soup, as soon as she texts I will make curry instead, and no cake at all. Screw her!
7. How are they related?
Oh man! I love my husband (and SIL!) but cannot fathom how he ended up so normal coming from my MIL. She's not specifically crazy, so much as unstable.
A few gems:
1.) Called my mother a few weeks before our wedding to express her relief that we would "no longer be living in sin." A little back story here, my FIL divorced her after she had a long affair. Those in glass houses...
2.) Less than 10 minutes before we were all supposed to walk down the aisle, she comes rushing back to tell me the toilet paper is out in the lady's restroom and then asks me to go fill it. Sorry, MIL, I'm already wearing the big white dress.
3.) Recently flagged one of the wedding photos on Facebook as "offensive" because she "never liked how she looked in that photo"... five years after the fact.
4.) Continually insinuates that I'm fancy and she's not good enough.
5.) May or may not have tried repeatedly to get on disability without having a real disability. Unless racking up huge credit card bills and demanding her children (one in college, another fresh out of college) to pay her bills for her counts as one.
8. Bad first impression.
My step-MIL made me cry within the first five minutes of meeting her by instantly challenging me on why our parents were not listed on the wedding announcement. Short answer: both of us have divorced/remarried parents... for a total of eight parents. We kind of wanted OUR names to be the memorable thing on the announcement, not the list of people at the top. Secondly, we are in our 30's and paid for our own wedding, so it's not like they threw the party. It's not hideous, but it set the tone for our relationship and I've been terrified of her since that first "chat."
9. Where to begin...
When they found out their precious boy was seeing me, they would invite girls from their church over for dinner to set him up with her.
They would also send him texts with phone numbers of girls when he was with me.
They started telling everyone, including my bf, that I was a drug dealer because their daughter (30 year old school teacher) said she "has a friend who knows this other girl who knows my ex" and he is a drug dealer too. They naturally couldn't name which ex because they didn't know anything about me and I'm certainly not a drug dealer.
Same sister and her husband decide to show up at my door at 10:45 p.m. one night to fight with my then bf about him sleeping over at my house, banging on the door and just being *#&$heads. We had no idea how the [hell] they found my address which was a 45 min drive from them. Turns out they had gone through my BF's bedroom with a fine tooth comb and had discovered an old receipt from a rental car that I'd hired on a holiday we took a year earlier, in his suitcase that was buried in the bottom of his wardrobe. They then proceeded to call me for almost 48 hours straight, at all times of day and night with the number they found on the receipt.
We went on a holiday, they called him and told him they were throwing his things out on the lawn and changing the the locks knowing that it was impossible for him to jump on a plane and get his things. Their aim was to ruin his holiday because they never did it.
They said I was a gold digger, only after his money. I called his mother out on that saying he'd moved straight from their house to MY place, with MY entire houseful of goods that I'd bought by myself long before I met him, with nothing but his clothes. I also owned my car outright and worked five days a week, which they flat out refused to believe.
They asked us to cancel our wedding... two months before the day. I refused and told them we had paid thousands in deposits and had dresses custom-made for two of my bridesmaids who were heavily pregnant. They offered to give us the money to cover our loss if we canceled it. A fight ensued. They convinced almost their entire family to boycott the wedding... including my husband's best man. Only his grandmother, an uncle, an aunt and three cousins showed up.
His sister threatened to show up at the wedding and cause a scene. We hired security.
On the day, his father sent him a text at 7 a.m. saying 'I hope you are happy ruining your life with that *#&$'.
I have so many stories but these paint a good enough picture!
10. She's a real winner.
I'm adopted. She has always thrown that in my face. I've always heard her say things like "since nobody knows where you came from" to "you have no heritage" to "aren't you afraid of what could be wrong with your baby?" Yes, I have a real winner of a monster-in-law.
11. What's your name again?
My ex-MIL was the WORST! She would call me Heather or Rachel. My name is Amber. I was with her son for 6 years. She bought me a moo-moo once, for Christmas. Little did anyone know, I was pregnant and rocked that thing ALL the time.
She called my son a mistake.
When I met her, she called me "exotic" (I have dark brown hair, light blue eyes, and olive skin). Apparently that meant I looked like a stripper.
12. The "always right" mother-in-law.
My wife’s mother is a horrible individual. She goes out of her way to belittle me in front of people. She does not like me and has made it very clear. My wife will very rarely defend me with anything she says. It’s gotten to the point now where I just stay away. Missing family functions or get togethers as I hate being around her. She argues with everyone about anything and everything and she’s “always right." My son awhile back was diagnosed with cancer. (Years ago, he’s doing amazing now). She tried to tell me that I don’t feel about him like she does because she is his grandmother and I will never understand. As if we were having a who is more sad competition. I just don’t know what to do anymore honestly. Talk me off a ledge.
13. The cookie monster-in-law.
She keeps making me cookies! Delicious white chocolate macadamia cookies. I've put on 10kg and I blame the cookies.
Who am I kidding, I can't stay mad at the delicious cookies!
Well, at least they're all not bad, right?