There are different levels of not caring. You have some people who only appear like they care just so they can go throughout life unbothered without having to confront the fact that nothing really impacts them at all.
Then there are people who are so adamant about announcing how much they don't care that it's pretty obvious they do, and are as insecure as most humans are.
And then there are people who truly, really, just don't care and shamelessly follow through on that, like the people in this AskReddit thread that called for people's best IDGAF moments and dang did it deliver.
1. Standardized test destruction.
Senior year in high school, we had to take a second standardized test, sort of a beta for a future version they were rolling out. Before the testing week, they gathered my class together and told us that no administrators could check our tests, and that we would not be getting individual grades. Instead, how well we did would determine how the test was handled next year.
Our class as a whole decided to mark C for every question. They were so proud we finished the test 2 days ahead of schedule, we got Thursday and Friday off that week. The next year, we screwed up their figures so bad, they had to do another beta test.
Tldr; don't tell seniors a test will not effect them at all
2. No phone? No problem.
Was on a ferry one day, standing next to a guy on the ledge. Guy was texting, dropped his iPhone into the sea. He just looked over for a second and pulled out some gum from his pocket and chewed on it and continued looking at the islands passing by. I looked at him once and he just shrugged briefly.
3. The raccoon-shoe incident.
There's a lot of homeless people around me who live behind the Home Depot across the street from me. There's a chained off pond and some heavy vegetation there so it harbors a lot of wildlife as well: raccoons being the primary residents. My friend works at the Italian restaurant next door to Home Depot and parks behind the building so I sometimes hang out with him on his lunch breaks since the restaurant is literally a 45 second drive from my house.
He and I were bulls--tting around over a cigarette when one of the homeless guys emerged from his tent and walked up to us. He asked if he could bum a smoke so I obliged. He lit it up, thanked me and started walking back to his tent. My friend and I continued talking for a minute when we heard "that's my cigarette!". We both turned around to see a raccoon skitter across the back parking lot followed by the homeless guy chasing it. The raccoon stole his cigarette from him and tried running away with it.
The raccoon ran up a stack of mulch bags and turned around but it was too late. The homeless dude launched his shoe at the raccoon and hit it square in the face. The raccoon got knocked off the mulch stack and ran away while the homeless guy walked over, picked up his cigarette, walked back up me and said "Mind if I get another light?". I asked if he didn't just want another new cigarette but he insisted he was fine. My friend and I were dying laughing after realizing what had just happened.
4. This old lady who knew the rules and played them like a fiddle.
One day at my old job, my old boss called everybody together because the upper management decided to cut some people out. This old lady overheard it from the bathroom, and then she zoomed out of there, grabbed her stuff and left before she could get properly fired. She then called the HR to tell them she was getting her paid vacation that was on hold, and hung up the phone before the HR could respond. And she turned off all possible contacts, like cellphone and e-mails.
Then she took 30 days of paid vacation + 4 days of paid sick leave + 29 days of absence (in my country, the law says you can be absent for 29 straight days without being fired for just cause). When she came back, she was properly fired without just cause and got all benefits like unemployed insurance etc.
TL;DR: Old lady took a 30 day vacation, 4 sick leave and 29 days of absence before she could get properly fired.
5. Homeless in Paris.
It wasn't me but my wife who spotted this legend.
At this time she was in living Paris. She was enjoying a nice summer walk near Hotel du Ville (The main council building in France). There she spies a homeless guy. Normal right? Wrong.
There was this dude full on bathing in a fountain in the heat of the day, with a napkin draped across his forehead. On the side next to him was a checkered cloth with a wine bottle and a single wine glass.
The most French homeless dude ever.
6. Why get up?
At a high school party where everyone was drinking underage and there was around 90 people, I’ll never forget watching the cops pull into the drive way and seeing every single person take off sprinting into the corn fields (rural area with a mile of corn 500ft from the house) and with everyone sprinting away from the cops 1 guy sat in a Lawnchair and continued to drink his beer while everyone else was running around
(I was watching it from the bed of my truck hiding)
7. A healthy supply of hats.
I was driving behind a person wearing a hat driving their convertible with the top down on a nice summer day. For some reason they leaned their head out the car and their hat flew right off in the wind. Without missing a beat they reach over to their passenger seat and put another hat on their head. Kept driving like nothing happened.
8. Bob Ross will draw mountains if he likes - and there's nothing you can do about it.
There is a great Bob Ross episode (for the life of me I can't remember which one it was) where he starts talking about how folks have written in and said that he draws too many mountains. He then says in his perfectly relaxed and calm Bob Ross self, that each person's painting is their own, and if they don't want to draw a mountain, then they don't have to. He then begins drawing a great big ass mountain right smack in middle of his painting. I thought that was the eloquent and satisfying "f--k you" and zero f--ks given moment I had ever seen.
9. You're never too old for a piggyback ride.
I was driving down the street one day and saw one grown man give another grown man a piggy back ride down the sidewalk. They were both laughing.
10. A real life Huckleberry Finn.
At a New England boarding school: there was a kid who can best be described as a modern Mark Twain character (ex. he grew up living on a boat, didn't wear shoes to places if he thought he could get away with it, etc.). He was expelled just a few days before he graduated (I think for drug use but possibly one too many alcohol infractions).
With nothing to lose, he took off all his clothes and walked stark naked from the dean's office back to his dorm.
11. Inappropriate joke man.
We have a coworker that has a garden so big he brings flowers to the office to make space.
One time he brought GORGEOUS gigantic flowers that are very hard to tend and I asked him how he grew them
"Well my flowers are like me, they just grow when they're happy"
The bloke is 80, he's retiring next week.
12. Consultant conundrum.
I'm in IT, and I was a network administrator for much of my career. I was the new guy on a team of two, me and the senior network engineer. I had only been on the job a short time, and our employer was planning a massive upgrade of our campus wide network.
Early in the planning, our employer thought our engineer didn't have the experience to handle a project of this size, so they wanted to bring in an outside consultant. Our engineer said this was a waste of time and money. Anyway, at a kickoff meeting, they were laying out the timeline, budget, etc, and we found out that they had contracted the consultant.
The engineer asked why, and they told him they thought he couldn't handle a project of this size. He calmly said "OK. Your consultant can do the whole f--king project by himself,", and walked out of the meeting. They then looked at me and asked if I could lead the project. I told them that if they thought he couldn't handle it, there was no way in hell I could.
13. Oh man.
Several years ago when I was in college I was at one of the approved smoking sections of the campus I went to having a cigarette. A guy I recognized from one of my classes who was also there smoking got an important phone call, so he moved to the edge of the approved area to talk in privacy. One of the campus security guards (who was notorious for having a superiority complex) happened to be walking by at this time and told him to get back in the approved smoking area, which he was hardly six inches away from. The guy refused and politely tried to explain that the call was very important, personal and he didn't want anyone else to hear. The security guard continued hassling him to get back in the approved area. This went back and forth for about half a minute or so. The guy finally got frustrated and said "Dude, blow me". The security guard, very surprised, snarkily responded "Excuse me, what was that you said, baloney!?" and the guy yelled "No, I said blow me you f--king a--hole!!" REALLY loud. The security guard's eyes got big and he stood there for a few seconds, then quickly walked away without saying anything.
It turned out dude's mom was hit by a car the day before and was getting an update from the hospital about her condition.
14. Never get between a crane operator and their book.
I heard a story from a friend of mine who is an engineer. He was on the site when a new younger supervisor came on site (young guy trying to prove himself) and the young supervisor sees the crane operator reading a book in his crane (it's his break time), they were high up in the building and could see him reading the book. Supervisor asked why he's allowed to do that and trying to make a point decided to send the guy home and make a point of him costing the company money to work not read books even though he explained he was taking his lunch break and that's what he enjoys, just reading his book and sipping his coffee it also doesn't make sense to climb however many many feet down for his lunch break. Anyways the supervisor sends the guy home and the high up boss comes on site an hour later and sees the crane operator isn't there he asks and the other people explain what happened...turns out that crane operator is one of three people in the country at that time that can operate that crane, apparently the supervisor got fired, crane guy got a raise and is allowed to read his damn book whenever he wants.
15. Telling off the boss feels so good.
Few years back a friend of mine was working retail with me just moving skids to the floor and stuff like that. At the time we had a huge a--hole of a GM constantly demanding more work and a harder hustle just being a d--k in general.
Well, my pal was leaving for a new job and was already past his time just helping out with extra work we had when he could have just gone home. Coffee in one hand pallet jack in another dragging skids around when our GM stops him and asks him "where are you taking that skid? Don't warehouse it put it on a top shelf out in one of the aisles"
Essentially what he was asking was for my friend to take maybe 60+ boxes of small product off a skid and up on a shelf out of reach on the retail floor. And to top it off he also wanted him to unbox them all first. Literally the most tedious redundant task you could be doing.
My friend just dropped the skid where he was and said "you do it" and left the building.
16. The dad-honk standoff at Chipotle.
My dad’s a pretty reasonable guy. Right up until the point where he meets someone who isn’t so reasonable. Then he has absolutely no problem sinking to their level just to f--k with them. So we’re pulling out of a parking lot. I want to say we were at Bass Pro, but there is a Chipotle in the same parking lot and it was lunch rush. So we’re pulling out of the parking lot and a woman was trying to get to Chipotle and was in waaaaay more of a hurry than she needed to be. My dad had the right of way, but she tried to sneak in before he came around a corner. I assume she thought he would brake and let her through. He did not. So what we’re left with is two cars, her big SUV and his big Ram, which together take up all of the space in this turn, so neither one can get passed the other. So she starts honking at him and he’s just giggling. And I mean giggling like a little girl. He thinks this is hilarious that she was being so rude and is now so pissed off. So he starts by waving at her and smiling. It just makes her honk more. Eventually she just lays on her horn, so naturally he does the same. From an outside perspective, there are two cars that are now just in a constant song of honk at each other. I asked him what his plan was and he told me that he was just wasting time until she realized that she could just back up. There was nothing behind her, and she could have gone back at any point in time, but I assume she was so mad that she wanted him to back up instead. Now like I said, my dad had the right of way. And he will stick to his principles until he dies if he has to. Or until he has to pee really bad. We were literally there for close to 10 minutes before she finally backed up, at which point my dad decided he wanted to go the other direction and got out of her way. She started honking at him again...
17. The cop tattler.
A few years ago a friend of mine was going through emotional break down. He spent one of his night driving around drinking Jack out of the bottle, apparently he passed a police car taking radar. The cop didn’t pull him over, so he decides he needs to go into the police station to file a complaint that they’re officers aren’t pulling drunk people over and that he’s the proof.
18. Nonchalant biker revenge.
Motorcycle rider is out having a ride on a beautiful morning.
Vapid dingbat swerves into him, actually contacting his handlebar before noticing that there is a bike there. Rider didn't have time to slow down enough to avoid being hit. He manages to stay on this wheels, and the car speeds away.
I get to a stoplight, and I'm just in time to see our hero ride up to the light, put down his kickstand, walk over and twist the mirror off the car. He drops it on the ground, mounts up, blows the light (No traffic at this time of day on a Sunday) and is gone.
19. Old man holds up traffic.
The other day I saw an old man with his wheelie cart trying to cross the street at a busy intersection. He had the walk signal but was walking so slowly that the light changed when he was in the middle of the crosswalk. Drivers started honking at him, but instead of hurrying across to the other side, the old man stopped, turned to face the line of cars and did a little old man dance, blocking traffic until the light changed back. Then he carried on walking like nothing happened.
20. Avoiding an awkward conversation.
I heard from one of the managers, the boss was planning to fire me after I came back from lunch. So I just didn't come back after lunch.
21. Craft cocktails.
I worked in a cradt cocktail bar for a while, and a guest was complaining that the drink she got didn't match her preferences. She was being rather rude and condescending, and wouldn't give anyone a direct answer as to what was wrong with the drink. A guest to her right asked "what did you ask for?" She replied, and the guest, without hesitation grabbed her drink. He finished it in one chug, looked her straight in the eye, and said "that's exactly what you described, and it was delicious. Don't be a b--ch."
We bought him all of his drinks the rest of the night.
22. Worst. Call center. Ever.
I worked at a call center for awhile to ehich, as we all know, is hell on earth. Had a coworker look me dead in the eyes and say, "Thanks for calling Verizon. Go f--k yourself!" And hung up.
He then proceeded to log out for a two-hour lunch.
He came back, but was quickly escorted out.
23. The duck army rises.
My daughter f--king LOVES feeding the army of ducks that live in the golf course behind our house. I try to get her to not to because bread isn't good for them. One time after I got out of the shower I saw her out on the back porch feeding the ducks our blueberry bread. I told her to stop and she looked at me and tipped the rest of the bag out to the mouths of what looked like 100 ducks.
She is now the duck god.
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