dangerous

These 25 Wannabe Tough Guys Will Definitely Crack You Up

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Nov. 19 2020, Updated 9:56 p.m. ET

I have a theory. The tougher someone says they are, the less tough they are in reality. For instance, if you ever met a guy in bar who says he can take out the whole bar with one hand tied behind his back, you better believe he would be the first person to run and hide if a fight were to ever breakout. 

Similarly, if anyone ever tells you about all the fights they have been, to find the actual number you should subtract by X, where X is equal to whatever number they just said.

But if someone is quiet and just keeps to himself, that might just be the person you should expect the unexpected from.

Take me for instance, I would never tell you I once killed 30 men with nothing but my wit and my bow-staff, and because I would never tell you, you know it must be true. Right?

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Better avoid these guys

You'll never catch me alive, copper!

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You all are so lucky..

Disney World's security team.

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Modern medicine is marvelous, hm?

So we can all agree no kids is for the best, right?

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I'm sure this guy is a caring lover...

He intimidates vikings!

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No one says that because this did not happen.

Just meet me in real life, and then you will see how tough I am.

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Is Sonic The Hedgehog really worth it?

You seem nice.

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Well, that escalated quickly.

Why do we even need a military when we have her?

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Hey. They're friends now!

He's so much a man he doesn't even need a mustache!

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And now he has no foot.

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All of his enemies are sick and dying, right?

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Uh, okay.

Yeah, she clearly wanted to sleep with you.

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Clearly.

I know it's not the point, but how did this get so many likes?

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As long as the crime happens directly in front of his house and he is awake.

What an opener.

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I know you are trying to sound cool, but it is really just gross.

Take this as a lesson, everybody: This is not how one goes about sounding tough. 

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