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16 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

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1. Accused of underpaying women, Google says it's too expensive to get wage data

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Why don't they just Google the wage data? The information is always right there and it's pretty hard to contest any hard facts.

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2. Trump-branded toilet paper to be sold in Mexico, will aid deportees: Report

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Source: wearmeitu
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3. Aaron Hernandez ate 20 honey buns one night in jail before guards realized it

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Every athlete knows the importance of carbing up.

4. United sorry for falsely accusing gay father of fondling his child

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5. Tots Trapped in Bounce House After Neighbor Unplugs It

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That'll show those kids for having a good time.

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6. Puppy released by Delta Airlines after 33-hour "hostage situation"

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Source: cbs news
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Why are airlines so evil all of a sudden?

7. WATCH: Naked man caught on video trying to hide a statue of a swan worth about $25,000

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If you're going to steal a swan statue, you might as well be naked.

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9. 'Space Aggressors' Train US Forces for Extraterrestrial Conflict

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Great, let's start them off by making them watch Starship Troopers and Independence Day.

10. Burger King ad angers real-life Belgian royal family

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Good to know I'm not the only one who gets mad when my burger doesn't look like the one in the commercial.

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11. 'Freak': Meet Cuba's Last Self-Infected HIV Punk Rebel

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This is why I never got into the punk scene.

12. Police: Woman locked kids in trunk while shopping at Walmart

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Source: good4utah

Sometimes you just need peace and quiet when you're decided between a 12-pack of Mountain Lightning or Dr. Thunder.

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13. Fire Director in NJ Has 20th Car Accident

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Source: nbc new york
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Good thing he's not a car accident Director.

14. Cocaine more addictive than first thought, study finds

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How does one become a part of one of these studies? Asking for a friend.

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15. Texas approves feral hog hunting by hot air balloon

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Source: kxan
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The second amendment clearly states that shooting at pigs while in a hot air balloon in the sky is what American values are all about how dare you say otherwise.

16. People Are Now Into Fidget Spinner Porn

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Welp...there it is.

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