Every so often I'll be browsing Netflix with my wife and kid and happen across a movie I was fond of in my childhood. I always get excited and want to share the joy of the film my son and see what his reaction to it is, AKA, will this kid have some taste or am I raising a classless slob who wouldn't know a good movie if it slapped him in the face.
For the most part, he loves a lot of the same movies I did growing up, and when I watch the movies I'm usually stunned with how oblivious I was to how awful or brilliant they truly were (never in between), but also how incredibly twisted as well.
For example, All Dogs Go To Heaven is a scary movie for kids to watch and deals with a lot of adult themes, something that I only really picked up on when I began seeing clips of it now that I'm a responsible grown-up who pays rent and doesn't race shopping carts through the supermarket...most of the time.
So when Twitter user Hannah Priest started a thread about a deranged holiday movie that manages to hide how deranged it is to viewers, I was interested. Especially because it was a household favorite of my family's: The Santa Clause, starring Tim Allen.
You may say to yourself, "No way, this movie is fun for all ages! It's a holiday classic! It's got a great message!"
Well, that all may or may not be true, but it doesn't change the fact that The Santa Clause is absolutely bonkers...in an evil way. Check out Priest's reasoning here in this epic twitter thread.
People gave their best guesses, but they were ultimately wrong.
It turns out that not just the first film, but the entire series is really, really messed up.
It gets worse.
The horrible truth is finally revealed.
That's right, the North Pole may be full of a bunch of baby-eating cannibals.
Well boiling people down and drinking them is still cannibalism, just of the drinking variety. You don't need to chew human flesh to be labeled a cannibal, OK??
Well, I'm convinced. Are you??