Human beings have set up a pretty weird way of life for ourselves, haven't we?
A lot of us work jobs that we don't like but are terrified to lose because we need to survive. Then we die. It's a bad settlement that we delude ourselves into thinking we're placating by buying a bunch of stuff we don't need. We chase more money so we can buy more of that stuff and maybe have kids who live out the same pattern of behavior.
Since we're all complicit in this weird way of life, and we are consumers, when we buy something, it better be a great experience. If I'm trying to stave off an existential crisis, I want the products that are helping to stave it off to at least come in packaging that makes sense, darn it!
1. Your grocery store sells what?!
2. His look of concentration makes it that much funnier.
3. Maybe face them the other way.
4. Looks like a hell of a party.
5. Tarantulas can camouflage now?!
6. Explains why I was always afraid of church!
7. Please don't bring this into band class.
8. If someone has a bunch of these in their house, run.
9. Good for them for not reinforcing gender norms.
10. At least it's kosher.
11. Whatever, it's still great at a BBQ.
12. Found a movie with the same title in a VCR at a garage sale once.
13. Oh thanks I was worried there'd be bits of food still left in it.
14. Can I get without? Trying to keep trim these days.
15. Dude what breed is that?!
16. That's either a huge toilet, or a small woman with a really big head.
17. I didn't know someone turned my elementary school nickname into a chip.
18. No, it is not.
19. Barbie, please, children shop here.
20. Can I just have the bed?
21. People actually pay money for this?
22. At least they're gluten-free.
23. I don't have the heart to tell them.
24. Ahh, yes, two pounds of the children and basil stir fry, please.
25. Perfect for dieting.
26. Someone tell the labelers.
27. Kids these days.
28. It's ah, uhh, candy cane?
29. Waiter my drink tastes terrible.
30. I'm so glad they didn't use a piece of fish on the label instead.
31. I'm surprised Spencer's Gifts hasn't bought all these up.
32. There are some weird bakeries out there.
33. The lochness monster chew toy?
34. Those poor monkeys.
35. Rutgers New Brunswick, here's looking at you.
36. Diapers: blinding and choking your children for decades.
37. That's because...it IS GRANDMA!
38. Are they not fully grown or something?
39. Oh, that's a good price for Welsh.
40. In 24 hours, you will be a virgin again.
Please label responsibly, people.