While traversing the wonderful world of Costco with my wife, we happened upon a label maker. Because it was aggressively priced and looked pretty awesome, and my wife is devoted to all things related to organization and cleanliness, she wanted to buy it. So we did.
For nearly three years it sat in its packaging. "One day we'll get around to using the label maker," she said. But as time passed on, it was never cracked open. Until it was, and let me tell you, that thing is pretty awesome.
There's something to be said about a concise, professional, small, glossy strip of difficult-to-remove paper that screams "I've got it together". Now that might sound silly, but I have to admit, even though we didn't use the darn thing for a long time, the second I saw those angular, crisp labels around the house, I didn't have a smidgen of buyer's remorse. Not a smidgen.
As much as I enjoy my wife's use of the label maker, it's all a bit mundane and she hasn't gotten as creative with it as she can.
Unlike this woman walking around NYC with a damaged shoe.
At first glance, it doesn't seem like much: a sticker on top of a flat that looks a bit roughed up.
But a closer look revealed that the label offered a brief explanation for why her shoe looks the way it does.
"My dog chewed it."
That's right, people. She used a label maker to turn a perfectly good, if not slightly damaged, pair of flats into a secret easter egg of comedy. If you've ever commuted through the streets of NYC, you'll understand that it's the little things like this that brighten your day.
Turns out I wasn't alone in my admiration of this woman's inventive use of a label maker.
This is the best use of a label maker in the entire history of label makers.— Robyn Pennacchia (@RobynElyse) May 31, 2018
And several people related to the messed-up-shoe struggle that this woman is clearly suffering from. So much so that they began sharing photos of their own ruined kicks.
I don't know why dogs love chewing on shoes, but they just do.
Maybe it's because they're on the floor and easy to grab?
Or could it be that our footwear picks up all of the scents and life from the outdoors, and our animal friends with their keen senses of smell go on a miniature adventure every time they bite one of our sneakers or stiletto heels?
As it turns out though, this label-making genius was in good company when it comes to explaining why certain clothing items were ruined. This person detailed the stories behind the stains on this one shirt.
It's not just dogs who are guilty of chewing, either. Wascally wabbits are known to nibble on everything in sight.
But lets get real, dogs are probably the biggest culprits. It's hard to be mad at a face like that, though.
We all have our own clothing imperfections to deal with at the end of the day. Whether its stains, wear and tear, or food memorials.
I love that she felt the need to explain the damage. I do stuff like that too. But my labels would mostly say "taco grease."— corinna (@malinche73) May 31, 2018
What would your explanatory labels most likely say?
There are plenty of ways to troll a sleeping friend while on a road trip. My personal favorite is parking the car in front of a light pole or a wall, flashing your lights, and having everyone in the car at the same time scream their heads off as if you're all about to die.
That's one way to wake them up.
But Eria found a different approach to trolling her boyfriend, Scott, that had a much longer effect: she enlisted the help of the I'm Telling God Facebook group in roasting him mercilessly for his soporific ways. As a result, the 'Sleepy Scott' meme was born.
If you were like pretty much everyone in the world, you were probably let down by the fact that Croatia didn't have their storybook ending in taking home first place in the 2018 World Cup. Sure, France had an amazing team and all that, and the contest's youngest MVP player, Mbappé, even donated all of his winnings from the tournament to charity—so I guess it's hard to be too upset with the competition's end result.
And even though everyone played their hearts out (except Egypt, I mean, they went again Saudi Arabia and the results were just embarrassing), there was a clear winner this World Cup and it actually wasn't even any of the teams. S
ure there's a first, second, and third place result, but all of those accomplishments pale in comparison to the wonderful memes that sprung up as a result of this glorious tournament.
More than a few were thanks to Brazil's Neymar.
I grew up in a marginally superstitious family who brought some beliefs and hocus-pocus superstitions from the old country. I couldn't make too much noise late at night for fear of attracting a "jinn." I couldn't point at cemeteries or stare into a mirror for too long or my face would become deformed, and heaven help me if I was ever mean to or disobeyed my parents or grandparents, because then I'd be looking at a cursed life that would ruin me until the day that I died.
But the idea of "back luck" or stepping on cracks, walking under ladders, or stealing a black cat's macchiato isn't something that my family really bought into. Sure, we believed in supernatural stuff and the idea that karma gets back around to mess with you or your kids, but "bad luck"?
No honey, it isn't luck that's ruining your life, it's an unseen species of metaphysical monsters that exist in a different plane we know little about—but they are mentioned in the Quran, so be careful!
There are phenomena so unfortunate that simply looking at images of them will cause the same bad luck to befall you. So on this Friday the 13th, gaze upon these pictures with extreme caution.