'Millennial' isn't just a catchphrase for all the young people that you hate, but I do understand why you think it is. The generation of millennials were actually born between the early '80s and the late '90s — so anyone who's between the ages of college senior and mid-30's adult kind of fits in the range.
I'm not sure if this has happened to every generation when they hit the job market, but my fellow group of millennials is definitely the hippest scapegoat to troll these days, and it's not just because they'd rather eat avocados than put their money toward a down payment.
No, we're also blamed for the economy, looked down on for having to hustle our way through the gig economy, and told that the reason we suffer from mental health issues is because of too much Netflix. And even though most of this is actually the fault of the Baby Boomer generation, I'll try to do the un-millennial thing of not getting offended and letting it all slide like Teflon (that's a thing you older folk say, right?) to join you in laughing at my peers.
Because let's face it, cat cafes and duck lips are worth the roast. At least a tiny bit. And even if you are a millennial, I invite you to agree that the following people deserve to be canceled. Below, 14 of the most facepalm millennial things that'll make you both laugh and cringe.
1. "I thought Twitter invented hashtags?"
Oof. So, my fellow cohort, I admit I'm a bit embarrassed here. This Yahoo! user was probably on the younger age of the spectrum, but I am here to remind everyone who only remembers cell phones that before the age of Twitter, the pound sign, as it was called, served to delineate numbers. It's also the button you had to press occasionally when talking to an operator.
And the older generation has probably caught on, but yeah, they're called hashtags now!
2. Remember the Tide Pod Challenge?
To be fair, this can be more aptly blamed on Generation Z, but I'll take it because it's true that confusing detergent with candy is something that we would do, because ewww who wants to do laundry when there's literally a million apps for that.
3. This 30-year-old who had to get evicted from his parents' place by court order.
Just when you thought you'd seen it all, I present you with this 30-year-old whose parents had to take him to court so that he would stop living at home. After living in his childhood room for the past eight years, Michael Rotondo was finally asked to leave by his parents. He was asked pretty nicely, and was gifted some cash to he could get back on his two feet. Michael claims he's "getting together the means to do that" and doesn't even "like living there," but the courts seem to agree he needs to get out. Like, yesterday.
4. What a legacy...
How true is this, though? Grandma's going to have duck face in all of her album photos, and men will be lucky if they're remembered for their cute filter-faces, rather than the more questionable photographs they've been keen on texting the women they're courting over the past few years.
5. If I could, I would literally single-handedly take all the responsibility for this.
Sorry, Baby Boomers. We get it, TBQH, we ruined language. But language is always changing, get with the program! I've got just the millennial slogan for this one: Sorry, not sorry!!
6. Someone finally figured out how to get us to buy houses.
Do they mean 250 $1 tacos? Or a combination of more expensive ones? Or could I ask them for no tacos and just get the money out of my down payment? Who cares though, because TACOS.
7. Oof, I feel attacked.
Asked what the most millennial thing they've ever seen in real life, ZypherMyth
said, "[Someone] pursuing a degree in Liberal Arts following their passion at a top university that they worked hard to get into only to wind up saddled with tens of thousands of dollars in debt and a low-paying job in the service industry all because the previous generations told them they could achieve their dreams as long as they just worked hard."
Oh boy, this hits close to home.
8. Work ethic? More like, Can I Live? Am I right...
Yeah, maybe this isn't what your boss wants to hear after you've neither called up nor shown up to work today.
9. This makes me cry a little on the inside.
So this is what people mean when they say common courtesy is dead. And the worst part is I want to think these girls would have stood up to offer their seats, except they probably didn't even see these grannies because they were too busy trying to take a bus selfie. The girl on the right's perfected her pout and everything.
10. Found myself while shopping today.
I never knew the team at Walmart all watched Sorry to Bother You, but boy do they know how to market to my generation!
11. Hot tip: when protesting a company, don't wear things from that company.
I get it, we're all lazy and prefer to get our things delivered instead of going out to the store to get them, but this one takes the cake. Like, how are you going to protest Amazon while wearing a mask you bought on Amazon Prime (the most elite of all Amazons)? Beats me, and I kind of love that they got dragged for it.
12. Not really our fault though, is it?
I don't know what our parents were thinking when they told us we were all special and unique and could achieve anything we set our minds to, but here we are, all adults and useless. At least we're all equally useless, and there's no hierarchy there, from what I like to think.
13. Students defunded their own newspaper because it "hurt their feelings."
After the university published a questionable article back in 2015, students petitioned to defund the newspaper, claiming they "would destroy all physical copies of the paper on the liberal campus," per Boston Magazine.
14. This woman who demanded a lifetime supply of Kit Kats after the brand wronged her.
A 20-year-old reportedly requested a lifetime supply of Kit Kat bars after the one she bought was missing a wafer. According to USA Today, the woman wrote to Nestlé, "I feel as though I have been misled to part with my money and purchase a product that is clearly different from what has been marketed by Nestle.” She continued, “The loss I have suffered is of monetary and emotional significance."
Still this somehow doesn't compare to the growing trend of "influencers," who feel entitled to free everything just because they exist.