29 School Jokes That Will Make Your Classmates and Teacher Crack Up


Nov. 2 2018, Updated 1:45 p.m. ET

Source: iStock

Ahhh, school. Low-key the best years of life when your sole responsibility is to absorb new knowledge that no one will blame you for forgetting later. Sure, math class may feel like a drag, but just wait until you're in your twenties trying to figure out FICO rates and credit scores without a teacher you can sit with for a few minutes after class to answer your questions.

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All in all, to quote my good friend Peaches, "stay in school cuz it's the best." But who says the best can't get even better with a little bit of shared humor?

Whether you're looking for the perfect joke to describe your latest homework assignment or just want to make your classmates laugh at lunch, we've compiled 29 age-appropriate school jokes that will even get a giggle out of your teacher.

Elementary School

  • Why are fish so smart? They travel in schools!
  • What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can’t hear you.
  • What's a witch's favorite class? Spelling!
  • Why won't the elephant use the computer? He's afraid of the mouse.
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  • What did the math book tell the pencil? I've got a lot of problems.
  • Why was the book in the hospital? It hurt its spine.
  • I heard they put a new wing in the school. That's true, but it still won't fly.
  • What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man? Sundae school.
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  • What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer? Boarding school.
  • Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school? Because she sprained her angle! 
  • Why do magicians do so well in school? They're great at trick questions.
  • How did the geography student drown? His grades were below C-level.
  • Middle School

  • Teacher: Can you tell us where they signed the Declaration of Independence?
    Student: Of course, ma'am. At the bottom.
  • When is a theater clumsy? When the curtain falls.
  • A boy comes back from school and his mom asks, "What did you learn today?" He replies, "Not enough, they're making me go back tomorrow."
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  • Why was school easier for cave people? There was no history to study!
  • A book that was never written: When Does School Start? by Wendy Belrings
  • Teacher: We will only have a half-day of school this morning...
    Students: YAYYYY!
    Teacher: Then we will have the other half this afternoon.
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  • Mom: What did you do in school today?
    Kid: We played a guessing game.
    Mom: I thought you had a math test.
    Kid: Exactly.
  • How did the geography student drown? His grades were below C-level.
  • A teacher says to his student, "Matthew, I've had to send you to the principal's office every single day this week. What do you have to say for yourself?" The student replies, "I'm glad it's Friday!"
  • High School

  • I threw my old laptop in the ocean. Now there's a Dell rollin' in the deep.
  • Two high school students are discussing their plans for after college. One says to the other, "I'm planning on going into farming. My father does it and it makes good money." The second asks, "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?" The first replies, "I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."
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  • What sort of grades did Tommy Wiseau receive in school? Oh, high marks.
  • Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
    Student: In jail.
  • A teacher asks her student, "Joe, why did you eat your homework?" Joe replies, "Because I don't have a dog."
  • Why do they never serve beer at a math party? Because you can't drink and derive.
  • What is grammar? The difference between knowing your crap and knowing you're crap.
  • What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG.

  • If you enjoyed these school jokes, you'll love some of our others — check them out below.

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