Sometimes I almost feel bad for scammers, because it seems like everyone is always trolling them. Hot girls on Facebook looking for money or people posing as the IRS get jerked around a lot by the smartasses they come across.
But the scams must work sometimes or they wouldn't keep trying, so for the people getting suckered by these liars: let the revenge trolling continue!
One thing I do admire about scammers is that they are persistent. You can say all sorts of weird stuff to them and they'll kind of just go along with it, because their mind is set on one goal. Scamming.
Twitter user @adultblackmale, or CJ, shared his version of fun, screenshotting a conversation with someone who may be the stupidest scammer on the Internet. CJ got very, very creative.
You can tell a scammer you own a private prison for dogs, and that's just a piece of info they need to absorb to get their iTunes gift card code:
Scammers always have the most ridiculous background stories for themselves, so maybe most of them are out of touch with the reality of what most people actually do in a day. When you tell too many lies, the truth tends to get a bit blurry.
CJ sent a photo per the scammer's request, and that's when things got really heavy:
Scammer logic is, "Tell him he's cute and he'll want to pay for you to call him."
This must be occasionally true, because this scammer seemed confident that CJ would pony up:
On the one hand, there was a card. Whether it was used, had money on it or not is unclear, but CJ spent a considerable amount of time sending pictures of the card code to the scammer. They were all just completely illegible.
There was too dark:
The blurriness incited the scammer so much, she proposed marriage.
Then the card got stuck on the ceiling. Whaaaaa? How did that happen?! Ohh, the cat. Of course.
For some reason, the idea of a cat eating an iTunes gift card and then barfing it onto the ceiling was still something the scammer was willing to go along with, but then things started to go south:
CJ was close to losing the scammer's time and attention, but they both soldiered on. Microwaving a gift card to dry it off seems reasonable to everyone, right?
But it has a bad effect on the card:
After the card shrunk down like a raisin, the scammer finally gave up. And she gave CJ a serious lecture on the way out.
She's not mad, she's disappointed. Enough of the lies!
CJ's followers loved the story and looked up the account to see what else this person has been up to. She's been busy:
Wait, is the wedding off? She said the only thing on the registry was this Amex gift card and i dont think its refundable— the norm respecter (@bizzyunderscore) July 4, 2018
Love is so elusive. And expensive.
I grew up in a marginally superstitious family who brought some beliefs and hocus-pocus superstitions from the old country. I couldn't make too much noise late at night for fear of attracting a "jinn." I couldn't point at cemeteries or stare into a mirror for too long or my face would become deformed, and heaven help me if I was ever mean to or disobeyed my parents or grandparents, because then I'd be looking at a cursed life that would ruin me until the day that I died.
But the idea of "back luck" or stepping on cracks, walking under ladders, or stealing a black cat's macchiato isn't something that my family really bought into. Sure, we believed in supernatural stuff and the idea that karma gets back around to mess with you or your kids, but "bad luck"?
No honey, it isn't luck that's ruining your life, it's an unseen species of metaphysical monsters that exist in a different plane we know little about—but they are mentioned in the Quran, so be careful!
There are phenomena so unfortunate that simply looking at images of them will cause the same bad luck to befall you. So on this Friday the 13th, gaze upon these pictures with extreme caution.
Growing up as a Muslim-Albanian family with very patriarchal ideas on the way a family is supposed to operate, my idea of what a father should be was a very "man's man" one.
He brings home the bacon, laughs maybe five times a year, and was really into Clint Eastwood and Martin Scorcese movies. Oh, and a Marlboro Red had to be perpetually hanging out the side of his mouth.
Fast forward years later and here I am, dadding it up, and I'm not that, like, at all. The manliest thing I probably do is hit the gym, bro, and not shave my chest hair. Other than that though, I'm nothing like the former generation of "guy's guys" that raised me. Which I'm totally cool with, because I'm already learning special hair braids to try out on my daughter once she gets older. Because her old man might be a North Jersey meathead, but he's going to be a meathead who doesn't mind having tea parties and getting his nails painted with his little girl.