We all thought we had the worst breakup stories, but no one can beat TikToker Maegan Soliz (@maegansoliz). When one person said that the fact she doesn’t like store bought pesto is “crazy,” Maegan responded with the actual craziest story of all time. She had the breakup from hell, and commenters on TikTok weren't afraid to share their sympathies.
Maegan told us what happened after her fiancé dumped her three weeks before the wedding, and it truly seems like someone put a curse on her. You can’t make this stuff up.
Meagan Soliz’s breakup story has the worst luck of any story.
In a stitch with a girl who says, “Call me crazy if you want but I’ve never liked storebought pesto,” Meagan responds dryly, “Oh my god, girl, that is so crazy,” before she proceeds to tell the worst breakup story of all time. And I don’t say that lightly! I’ve watched a lot of rom-coms and horror films, and I watch a lot of comedians tell their bad breakup stories, but never have I heard of someone with Meagan’s bad luck.
“So this one time I walked in from my bachelorette party and my fiancé decided to tell me that instead of getting married in three weeks, he thought it would be best if we just never saw or spoke to each other ever again,” she explained. If that wasn’t bad enough, it gets much worse.
“I was so upset about getting broken up with three weeks before my wedding, I cried my eyes out. Well, I wake up in the morning, and I can’t open my eye; it hurts 20 out of 10. So I drive myself to the optometrist. I’m one-eyeballing it the whole way there because I refuse to let him take me because I was still mad.
“And when I get there they tell me I had a scratched cornea, like probably from my long nails scratching in my sleep. So they put an eye patch on my eye.” Ar, matey! And you thought it couldn’t get any worse, but guess what? It does.
“So I’m driving home, just broken up with, with an eyepatch, and I’m like, ‘You know what? F--- it, I’ve been dieting to fit into this dress. I’m gonna eat whatever I want.’ So I go through the drive-thru and I get my favorite crunch onion rings. Well, they’re so crunchy, the first bite I take chips my front tooth. Very noticeably.”
“So I had a chipped front tooth and an eyepatch and I just got broken up with three weeks before my wedding, and I’m pretty sure that was the beginning of my villain era if you know what I’m saying,” she said. “But your thing’s crazy too. Yeah, like store-bought pesto, woof, crazy.”
I think we can all agree that Maegan’s story is way crazier than the store-bought pesto thing (and most other breakup stories). But the craziest part is in the caption. “We are on good terms and no hard feelings,” Maegan shares in her caption, just to top off how wild her breakup story is.
Commenters support Maegan’s villain era and think she could have been cursed.
Many people commented in support of Maegan’s villain era, hoping it was “legendary” and saying this saga was her “origin story.” Honestly, we’d watch the film. Someone even suggested this be the next installment of Pirates of the Caribbean, and we wouldn't be disappointed.
Even Real Housewives star Bethenny Frankel commented, “I am NOT ALIVE” because it was such an insane story. Another commenter said, “Someone was definitely doing brujeria on you,” which means witchcraft. Do we buy it? Well, there’s no other explanation for such a calamity of errors.